SNOW DAYS = HAPPY KIDS :))

Thankful for a snow day today!! I know I may not be the norm but I love having my kids home! I lay here while my children asleep in my bed (yes at 6 they slept in my bed - never thought I would be "that Mom" but man did I have a lot to learn about parenting). They are not stressed about having to wake up and rush out of the house and not stressed about which book or homework assignment they need to bring back to school today. I am on spring break from my school as well so I am really enjoying a lot of time home with them, that I normally would be in class or studying. Due to the snow our public school district also moved the date of the MCAS testing which was suppose to be scheduled for today. I can now take my daughter B to a much needed orthodontist appointment (they book so far out and she is starting her process of getting braces) as long as the roads aren't too bad.

It's no secret as I'm pretty open about my opinions, I despise standardized testing and feel we in MA are missing the boat completely on how to educate our children. As a parent who is in the classroom often and interacting with many knowledgeable passionate experienced teachers, many are feeling the same way. They are appalled at how certain curriculum and rules are being enforced, and feel their hands are tied because of test scores being the only real tangible evidence of success as a school or teacher. Because I am in my children's classroom on a regular basis, I happen to be in the classroom on some Math test days. Math in the FIRST GRADE, and it doesn't even make logical sense to why we are teaching them some of the nonsense the way that we are. Lets put it this way my father takes them on Tuesday afternoons when I have class and he a college educated nurse for over 40 years jokes: "I hope they don't have Math homework today, that stuff doesn't make any sense!"

Let me just tell you it smells HORRID in that class room on test days. Finally when I couldn't take the smell anymore I asked (again I have a tendency to say whats on my mind if you haven't picked up on that already). Why does it smell like someone popped their pants in here? And I was told that this was a normal occurrence on test days. That the kids... Let me rephrase this - the babies I'm sorry they're 6 years old with no teeth and learning how to tie their shoes and wipe their behinds properly - they are babies- they get such anxiety from "testing" days that a lot of them get gastrointestinal issues or essentially bad gas. Their bellies hurt from the anxiety from the tests and let me tell you, walk through a classroom on a test day and you can cut the anxiety with a knife, but wear a gas mask. This is so sad to me. They're 6!!!! What are we doing wrong? How is this setting them up to be successful? I realize education is the foundation of our society but NOT LIKE THIS. And yet we're not succeeding in education as a nation despite all of these "added standards".

The United States may be a superpower but in education we lag behind. In a recent comparison of academic performance in 57 countries, students in Finland came out on top overall. Finnish 15-year-olds did the best in science and came in second in math. Other top-performing countries were: Hong Kong, Canada, Taiwan, Estonia, Japan and Korea.

How did the U.S. do?

Students in the United States performed near the middle of the pack. On average 16 other industrialized countries scored above the United States in science, and 23 scored above us in math. The reading scores for the United States had to be tossed due to a printing error.
Experts noted that the United States' scores remained about the same in math between 2003 and 2006, the two most recent years the test — the Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) — was given. Meanwhile, many other nations, Estonia and Poland being two, improved their scores and moved past the U.S. Researchers also made note of the fact that while the United States has one of the biggest gaps between high- and low-performing students in an industrialized nation, Finland has one of the smallest. Students in Finland perform remarkably well, regardless of the school they attend.

What makes Finland so hot?

Finland's stellar performance has drawn the attention of education and government officials around the world. These experts have uncovered many attributes of the Finnish educational system that are distinctive and contribute to the success of Finnish students. Some of these features are:

• The Finnish school system uses the same curriculum for all students (which may be one reason why Finnish scores varied so little from school to school).
• Students have light homework loads.
• Finnish schools do not have classes for gifted students.
• Finland uses very little standardized testing.
• Children do not start school until age 7.
• Finland has a comprehensive preschool program that emphasizes "self-reflection" and socializing, not academics.
• Grades are not given until high school, and even then, class rankings are not compiled.
• Teachers must have master's degrees.
• Becoming a teacher in Finland is highly competitive. Just 10% of Finnish college graduates are accepted into the teacher training program; as a result, teaching is a high-status profession. (Teacher salaries are similar to teacher salaries in the U.S., however.)
• Students are separated into academic and vocational tracks during the last three years of high school. About 50% go into each track.
• Diagnostic testing of students is used early and frequently. If a student is in need of extra help, intensive intervention is provided.
• Groups of teachers visit each others' classes to observe their colleagues at work. Teachers also get one afternoon per week for professional development.
• School funding is higher for the middle school years, the years when children are most in danger of dropping out.
• College is free in Finland.

Says Professor Jouni Välijärvi of the Institute for Educational Research at the University of Jyväskylä, and Project Manager of PISA for Finland, "In light of the PISA data, Finnish schools manage to activate learning among the whole age cohort more effectively than any other country. Students are not sorted into different groups or schools but different types of learners are learning together. In this kind of setting high achieving students seem to serve as positive models for their less advanced classmates. The pedagogy differs from that applied in systems characterized by tracking and streaming. Efforts are made to provide instruction to cater to the needs of different learners in terms of their skills and interests."
Preschool education — a relatively new addition to the Finnish toolkit — has been part of their educational system for the past 10 years. According to Välijärvi, "Preschools are nonacademic in the sense that no clear academic targets are set. Socialization into school culture and learning to work together with children is the central role. Preschool is not compulsory in Finland, but 96-97% of the children go to it."

Taken from: http://www.greatschools.org/students/academic-skills/1075-u-s-students-compare.gs

One thing I will PRAISE about public schools is their reading program. IT IS A FINLAND BASED Reading program, and it is simply outstanding! This year because one of our twins (who has a harder time with confidence and socialization) was testing slightly lower in reading than the other. Now when I test him at home and practice he was fine, but when put on the spot or tested in school he would miss about 30% of the correct answers or just shut down and say: "I don't know". Now let me preface this with both of my twins are at or above standard and are doing fine however this is what an involved parent does when they pick up on little issues that they feel can be addressed. So after meeting with the teacher and discussing the confidence issue we decided to help with the transition of splitting the twins we would put one into the special reading program. A half hour a day he would be taken without the other twin (which is great progress for them) and work one on one with a reading teacher. And let me tell you the outcome was ASTOUNDING.  Not being put on the spot and not being overwhelmed with distractions (this child is also a jokester) has worked WONDERS for him! In TWO WEEKS his reading completley transformed. He already "knew how to read". But I don't think he fully enjoyed it. His cadence, emotion, and deflection in his voice totally changed within a week or two - did I mention its a FINLAND BASED PROGRAM? Just saying! And now I have to kick him out of the room when his brother reads because he's constantly CORRECTING HIM. Its insane to watch. I am amazed by this program, I want to just run up and hug his reading teacher. I had been working with him all year and specifically over February vacation - just doing my mom thing. We would read a book and then draw a picture and write a sentence about the book. I love my kids dearly but I am not a teacher, they need programs and curriculum, they need people like their teacher and their reading teacher who know all the little tricks of the trades to figure out how to get them to LOVE learning. But are these programs really emphasized in public schools? No. They are only offered when a child falls below a level or struggles with something. Little secret, its almost BETTER in public to have a child fall below because then they are given these extra times and tools. If they are middle of the pack or even ahead they are just another test score on the MCAS that makes the schools rating better. Sad but totally true reality.

For me personally one of the most important aspects of starting my children in preschool young was for socialization and  learning authority and respect for other adults. In private preschool I feel they really focused on this and worked with my boys so much, we went through a tough transition and their teachers were there every single step of the way to help guide and direct us on how to progress. The thing in a public school experience the social interaction and learning environment is different now, VERY different, especially since we were kids. One of the things I noticed when in my boys classroom was they didn't participate much unless prompted to. They're somewhat shy and lack social confidence in large settings. This is something I think 6 hours of school daily should try and develop and focus on. You could have the best education in the world and if your looking at your feet while you're talking well to me that's not really worth much. However, there's not really much ROOM for developing this is the classroom anymore, and quite frankly (and this was an insider tip) - its not part of the curriculum so its not a priority. I am not kidding you when I say ALL THEY CARE ABOUT ARE TESTS SCORES. And when I say all "they" care about is test scores, I am not saying teachers, because I happen to really love and appreciate and value some of my children's teachers, but they HAVE to follow guidelines laid out before them by the state. Their job is actually at stake if they do not. I watched an amazing middle school team of teachers be completely demolished (teachers who used Beatle songs in ELA to depict meanings in poems) (teachers who inspired children like I've never seen) and I watched the restructuring come in and split up the team. And I can vouch from another mother (who happens to be a teacher as well) that says ONE PARTICULAR teacher who was cut had such a strong influence on her son - IT WAS THE ONLY YEAR HER SON EVER READ FOR PLEASURE!! THE ONLY YEAR!! And this teacher was cut?!?! On a technicality?

And respect - well my children walked into school with manners and respect. All I ever got for feed back in kindergarten was how well behaved and sweet they are. Well that's great. I will teach them manners and values and respect - YOU teach them to love learning. But unfortunately some teachers are stuck trying to teach other children manners, respect and behavior because they are sent to school with NONE and this is distracting and takes time away from actual class work. I don't expect teachers to teach them that - I feel that is MY JOB as a parent. However I do feel some of their peers can teach them some very DISRESPECTFUL behaviors and that's not to say that "my child is better than others" but lack of parental involvement is a HUGE problem in public schools. I don't think you will meet an educator who will disagree and this influences the behaviors our children are surrounded with on a daily basis. 

If you cannot tell I am very very passionate about my children's education. Always have been always will be! So what are our choices? Public (which although less than my personal standards - does offer special programs for children with needs) PRIVATE schools are not properly equipped to handle that. However private is in a position to CHOOSE who they accept into their school so therefore the standard of behavoir by both students and by parents is set higher and can be more enforced than in public. But this can also be a disadvantage. Every child is different, our daughter went to private up until 3rd grade and I felt at the time it was the best controlled environment, structure, and discipline that she needed to be challenged and succeed. It set a great foundation for her and she in now a thriving happy straight A student who needs very little assistance to do that. However that is HER, and fit her learning style and needs. I feel if I sent my boys to such rigid structure they would be miserable, in fact I think Brody would flat out shut down or have so much anxiety from not getting something right it would be counterproductive ti his learning. Bryce might thrive because he is so laid back and lackadaisical in school, he just needs to be pushed that he would probably do well with more structure. The downside of private if you're not religious is religion is usually a large part of curriculum, although we were not practicing Catholics we sent my daughter to catholic school and explained to her that it was just another class not a way of life, but this can become confusing to children. And the other thing with private is ITS EXPENSIVE. Even if you can afford it which we could, a financial planner will tell you if you are not in a category to be able to put multiple children through private AND actively save for their college education at the same time you may be throwing away college money on a standard education. Unless you can really afford to do both you may be better off to save more for the future and extracurriculars. But what if their standard schooling is not setting them up to be succesful in college or in the real world? Man!!! Who said this parenting thing was easy?

But Brody - Brody's my "special one" and I don't like to say that because it sounds like I'm choosing favorites and I'm not at all. In fact if anything my husband hates when I say that because it sounds like he's special needs, and I've always been on him for testing of certain things. Let me just say this child has totally rocked my world on my thoughts of schooling and learning for children. Every child really is very different and having identical twins it has helped me to see this even more. As a parent we focus on milestones no matter what. I don't care how laid back you are -  you are or should be aware of what milestones your child should be hitting around what age. Because our twins were preemies we had Early intervention involved at a young age and my living room was filled with occupational therapists, speech therapists, the whole nine! I wanted to make sure these precious babies where not behind at all! Especially after following in the footsteps of their 10 month old running, 12 month old weened and off the pacifier, 18 month old potty trained, 3 year old gymnast sister. Man was I in for a rude awakening!! These boys were fine. They were healthy, they were hitting appropriate milestones but man they were quirky haha and pacifiers and bottles and diapers and not sleeping through the night all lasted far too long, but guess what? They are FINE.

Bryce walked at a year and Brody was happy on my hip for another month until he decided to join his brother in the walking world. Bryce potty trained and Brody needed special attention months later with getting there with number 2. And if you read child psych books it is very common with children with obsessive OCD type,  attitudes to HOLD their poop in, which is exactly what he did, and and how he behaves. Its almost comical to watch him color he must wipe away and blow away shavings constantly. Now I'm not trying to "diagnose my child" with anything in fact since I pretty much refuse medicine on a regular basis there would be no need for diagnosis but I do try to UNDERSTAND. They were far behind their sister on pretty much everything, who I later learned was far ahead in milestones and NOT THE NORM. And I cannot thank my pediatrician enough for listening to my rants and concerns and taking them all seriously but assuring me THEY"RE FINE, THEY'RE FINE, watch by this time they'll be doing it and sure enough they would. She reassured me: "when they graduate high school, no one is going to know or care or be able to tell who walked first, who potty trained first, or who peed the bed far too long." It just doesn't matter. Being a Mom to these twins totally changed my parenting and I am forever grateful for their gift of life and enlightenment.

I remember the first time I was introduced to the Montessori schooling system. We were sitting in a gymnastics facility in North Andover - doing our Mommy chat, and one of the Moms said her son Max was really struggling at public school, he was tired and grumpy all the time, he was anxious, and fought to go to school, she then said when they switched him to Montessori she felt like she had her child back. He was happy and smiling. They let him work at his own pace, they let him choose his activities, he really liked and looked up to the older kis and all I could think as a young Mom with this superstar daughter was: "What a lazy kid!" He's just looking for the easiest route out of school. Was I ever wrong and man will those thoughts come back to bite me!! My Brody is this Max. He is a brilliant child, his mind actually fascinates us. Ever since he was a baby we have called him "the engineer" he's been able to sit and build and sit in quiet and focus on something as long as he wants to, while my other two are complete hyper spazes like their Momma! But he's also so silly and sociable in the right setting. I remember in preschool him working with the teacher one on one and she literally said I have to turn my head sometimes because he makes me laugh so hard. But the trouble with Brody is if you push him or put him on the spot in front of a lot of people he shuts down. It's like you are dealing with two different children. I have video upon video of him singing his heart out (and pretty good might I add) and dancing like he's on MTV but yet he cried  for 5 months straight in music class this year to the point that we had him tested for sensory issues. NOPE no issues that's just Brody. He can sit and build these amazing lego contraptions but cant sit still enough to finish a WII game with his brother sometimes - that's just Brody. He also takes great pride in his work, his is always neat and completed top to bottom when his brother who doesn't struggle at all but is just lazy sometimes and Bryce's work comes out a hot mess and he could care less. Yet Brody takes this neatness to a whole other level and sometimes erases and starts over if its not perfect. He recites songs and impressions from movies perfectly. He's just an amazing child with such a great mind and spirit but in the wrong environment, he just shuts it all down and gets stressed from lack of confidence that he's not doing something right. He really gets sad about leaving the house some days, and is a horrible horrible grump in the morning, all normal things but very unlike my other two so its more noticeable. Teachers and health professionals are convinced that he will out grow this lack of confidence with support and maturity. And I know they are right but in the mean time, I am on top of it. Its made me question public schooling as I have never questioned it before. It's made me think of other options such as private and even homeschooling.

In my first year back in college I wrote a debate paper for PRO homeschooling it was a great paper with backed up research and I'm trying to contact the professor to see if I can find it archived. My laptop crashed in 2010 so I didn't have it saved and as passionate as I am about it I'm not writing it again lol but if I can find the paper I will share it. It debunked many misconceptions about homeschooling and actual pointed to many facts about benefits. You have to remember that I am the type of person who thinks if you don't like something CHANGE IT.

When I was in high school I was an old soul who was way to far ahead of my years and looking to grow up too fast. I though the high school drama was silly and I was also not academically challenged. I hated going to school and thought it was a big joke. I thought it was a waste of my time and though I CAN TEACH MYSELF THIS STUFF, start college and work now and be done with this silly high school. Again my attitude was not the best I just wanted to be an adult! Well again growing up too fast is not a good thing, however I did just that. I quit school, started homeschooling myself, started working full time, and starting taking college classes all at age 16. Unfortunately I also got pregnant shortly after (since I thought I was so grown and in love) well we all know how that story ended, and it was a happy ending because I refuse to settle for anything less than I think I deserve and the same will go for my children. I will not settle for less than I think they deserve, so I see myself coming back to if you don't like something CHANGE IT! I did take time off to be home with my kids but have since gone on to complete college and start my own business and 90% of my college schooling was done online taught by myself and all of my business built on my own (I guess my independence and stubborn attitude never really went away).

Since I am working closely with their teacher this year and am confident in her abilities, I am confident that they are getting all of the attention and educating that they need so for now we take it year by year. But like I said this experience with my twins has opened my mind up to so many more opportunities and ideas as a parent that I never thought I would seek or believe. And let me leave you all will this these are actual milestones for 6 year old children... children in first grade: are we nurturing and developing our curriculum to fit these milestones?

In the early school years, you won't see dramatic changes in motor skills because this is a period of refinement, when coordination improves and fine motor skills are sharpened. But you will notice remarkable changes in social and thinking skills. Your child is now building on the base of skills developed during early childhood and moving toward greater independence, both intellectually and emotionally.
Here are some of the milestones you can expect of a 6-year-old:

Motor Development

• may still be somewhat uncoordinated and gawky
• able to learn to ride a bicycle
• can move in time with music or a beat

Language & Thinking Development

• moving toward abstract thinking
• develops reasoning skills
• shifts from learning through observation and experience to learning via language and logic
• wants it all; has difficulty making choices

Social & Emotional Development

• grows more independent, yet feels less secure
• craves affection from parents and teachers
• friendships are unstable; can be unkind to peers
• needs to win and may change rules to suit herself
• may be hurt by criticism, blame, or punishment
• can be rigid, demanding, and unable to adapt
• increasingly aware that others have may have different feelings

Tips for Parenting a 6-Year-Old

At 6, your child is curious, active, and becoming engrossed in school and new friendships.

• Provide consistent structure at home to help your child adapt to the disciplined world of school.
• Give lots of opportunity for physical activity to help develop skills.
• Make a point of attending your child's school and sports events. It's important for her to show off her accomplishments.
• Be patient with her selfishness; it will pass.
• Be generous with praise

  And to me one of the most important points - Imagination

  The imagination of a 6-year-old is amazing!! They are at school for 6 hours a day are they using their imaginations AT ALL??
  
  Taken from: http://www.greatschools.org/special-education/health/727-developmental-milestones-your-6-year-old-child.gs
  
  
  And I will say this as parents we need to judge less and support more because we are ALL raising the next generation. And if you love your children and care about making them happy contributing members of society than you have my support. I don't care if you are in public school, private school, home school, practice attachment parenting, cry it out, work, stay home, bottle, breast, cloth, regular... those are all personal choices for YOUR FAMILY. I am not a crazy Mom, okay maybe I am but these are just thoughts that I take very seriously. So if you are a parent who loves your child and wants whats best for them than I support you! Often Mom blogs come off as "condescending" or know it all ish and this is so far from that. I wish SOMEONE WOULD GIVE ME THE DAMN ANSWERS ALREADY!!! :) 
  
  
  In any case tomorrow is THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING!! Lets hope it melts all this snow!!