I wrote this piece called "The forum online bodybuilder" back in 2008 when I was strong into the fitness industry and very vocal and active on various message boards, I was 25 years old and was just starting to come into my own in terms of quality people vs. people I do not respect. I quickly realized that although I gained friendships and knowledge from these online interactions, I also was hit with an onslaught of negative side effects from people that I had very little respect for, so therefore it was deemed a waste of my time. I wrote this after I voiced my opinion about NPC shows not always being natural and a local promoter lost his crap on me about it. Well apparently I hit a nerve, something we all knew to be true, but whatever I guess some people can't handle the truth. We all know often history repeats itslef. And I need to be reminded of my feelings then, and my feelings now. I share online, I interact online, I will not alter my networking or my habits for anyone, I simply must filter out and keep it moving positively.
Here is the original article I wrote, it is directed to the "online bodybuilder" but can really apply as I've seen to anyone with a tough guy online persona, as you all are hit with various annoying encounters during your interactions remember this.
Stephanie Villers - 2008 - The forum Bodybuilder
He has lifted more than you, won more competitions than you, and hung
out with Ronnie Coleman himself. His lists of credentials, experience
and superiority would make Flex Wheeler jealous... yet he has no picture
up and hides his true identity. When you ask about carb cycling he is
the first to tell you carbs make you fat. When you ask about Natural
competitions he is the first to tell you all those guys are on juice. He
will pick each and everyone of you apart head to toe because he is all
knowing. Do not dare question him because behind his keyboard he has THE
POWER.
You may have walked by him many times in REAL life but would never know
because without his keyboard, his eyes never leave the floor as he
stares at his feet when he walks, confidence too low to make eye contact. His voice is never heard as he doesn't
dare utter a word if it is not typed. To interact on a true level he
cannot, therefore he takes it out on you through the power of the
internet. And if you did overhear him speak... his tone of false
arrogance, ignorance,and stupidity quickly made you tune him out.
For those of you who do not play the message board drama game or the
drama game at all, its amazing what you can gain from a little comradery
and motivation on the boards. These are the people who use their REAL
NAMES on the boards and do not care about attempting to "fit in"...You
say what you feel, share your knowledge, experiences, make
friendships, add to your circle in the industry and learn and thrive off
of the positive, these are who the boards are for!
If you ask me if I like your shirt and I don't, I will say it. Does that
make me a bad person? Should I lie, smile, say yes then turn around and
say "what the hell was she thinking?" If you are pro life and I pro
choice does that mean we can't be friends? It takes a special person to
be able to be open and honest, I respect and cherish that in others, but
some do not appreciate it for what it is I guess. Call it opinionated,
call it big mouthed, call it courage, call it whatever the hell you want
BUT one thing you cannot call it is fake or a liar and I love that!
Opinionated is not abrasive unless you choose to see it that way... if I state an opinion, do I disrespect you? Do I force it on you?
No, I simply state it, because its on my mind. Just by hearing it, will
your blood boil? Will I corrupt you? You don't need to call me strong,
you don't need to call me dominant. I don't need special attention , and
you don't even have to address the issue at hand. I'm not "non
conforming" to fit into that crowd that wants to be bad ass or
conforming to fit into the "cool" one either... I choose to create a mix
of the both and my "crowd" will be "the genuine one". Show me respect
and I do you... disrespect me and may the fire ball that flows from my
mouth not burn your heart.
Just imagine all the encounters and experiences you will miss if every
time someone says something you don't like you turn them off, shut them
out... its okay keep doing it... more fun for us! I don't care if hate
is from jealousy from your own insecurities, or drama is for your own
enjoyment or spice in your life...some of us don't take it as a
compliment, don't thrive on it, and don't need it! I don't need to feel
like I intimidated you to make myself rise above. Self proclaimed superiority comes from narcissistic people who need to compensate for
their feelings of inferiority... true people choose to be right at your
level regardless of "status".
Last time I checked we never asked for anyone's approval, we never said
you had to agree,or even pay attention for that matter. Negativity is
the way of the world and I find it funny that those that thrive on it or
claim they have no idea why it surrounds them, are the first to bring
it to you. I have enough common sense to filter my mouth to a degree,
but more passion that drives those words right out of my heart and
through my mouth or into my writing. Should I apologize for the 100th
time for offending people? Should I crawl under a rock...or should I say
it's YOUR DAMN PROBLEM... NOT MINE?
Hate all you want... but you can't break the person who thinks nothing
of you...and I think NOTHING of someone who chooses to wear their own
insecurities on their sleeves, and use them against everyone through
their keyboard.
I think NOTHING of anyone who thinks they will EVER force me to see
things their way, or anyone who EVER thinks that outspoken, opinionated
people (especially young women) are *******s. Do I know everything? Hell
NO! Nor do I claim to BUT I will tell you what I think, because that's who I am. But trust that I can dish it and I can take it.
Those of you who love the honest open TRUE PEOPLE...THANK YOU and the
love is mutual...and those of you who do not...why are you still reading
this far?
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