Money doesn't buy happiness. But it buys freedom, and choices, and opportunities. And those are necessities for me.

I suited my hubby up in this months prizes from our #milliondollarchallenge with our company and posted it to Instagram, initially just to share my fun swag we win ever month from our company and then my share turned into a blog post. That's how passion and my brain works. "Coincidentally" (not really) the prizes came on the same day that I was able to finish 95% of my Christmas shopping completely with MY monthly commission from my "side business" without touching our checking account. And the same day I was offered another opportunity within my industry. AND I purchased my tickets to our next business conference in January. CONTINUAL GROWTH. I can't tell you how on top of the world I felt. I DO NOT say that at all to brag, because let's be real I'm most impressed by modesty and memories over things, but I share it because my MINDSET with money and abundance has been something I've been working on diligently. 

Having enough while striving to grow can be a tricky line to walk. Do you feel guilty for wanting more? Greedy even? Is it hard to celebrate success, without fear of failing and losing it?  Does your gratitude and contentment cloud your drive or visa versa? 

Let me ask you this. Are you putting out a vibrational frequency that is a match for abundance? Woah. What? Let me say it again. Are you putting out a vibrational frequency that is a match for abundance? Lately I don't share much of my personal development too openly because quite frankly, I'm newer to it and it freaks me out a little how the universe responds so directly. I have a fear of sounding cray cray (because I'm finding my footing in this), but I feel I need to share because it has been so very powerful in my life. And I believe that sharing is paying it forward to open others eyes if they do choose. 

The beginning of this year 2016 we made a large family decision to have my husband resign from a job he loved and was doing well in as a regional sales manager (that involved a lot of travel) to take a local job that had potential to grow lucratively but took a step back initially in order to no longer have to travel. That was a scary choice for our family, but we knew it was necessary. If you can provide the necessities for your family, there is no price you can put on time with your family and we had missed that with my husband traveling so much for work. In this transition we also decided that I would be able to grow my business more to supplement the differences in lifestyle now that I had a husband home to help. And that's where BELIEF in being a sustainable business came in. Not just something I do because it gives me something to do for me. But an actual business, and I felt the shift. I can't tell you enough, if you treat your business like a side business it will remain just that. A fun hashtag #momprenuer, something you pick up when you want and put down when you want and makes you a few hundred bucks a month. There's nothing wrong with that at all!! If that's your goal. But if your goal is more, you have to work it differently, and your mindset must follow. But immediately when I started to make these shift I felt some personal blocks with doubts, insecurities and being uncomfortable with talking about the money side and growing creep in. To me that's always been something private, don't all about money it's tacky. BUT when you're in business for yourself and leading a team you have to have a clear vision of where you're going, and what your goals are and what their goals are and often that vision needs a tangible number. I struggled here. So I took to some deep business training and self development. Literally just this past Sunday working more on my fear cleanse self development I worked through some abundance and money mantras and then Monday was my hot spot of an abundant lucrative fulfilling aha day. The day after I focused on this training. Not a coincidence. I'm sorry, it's just not. 

One of the things I should mention is that when my husband gave up his regional sales position he gave up his quarterly bonuses we had become accustom to, and his largest bonus being his end of the year Christmas bonus. I never budgeted or saved for Christmas because we were able to use part of the Christmas bonus without worry. Since his pay structure changed we had to adjust, and this year was the first year without the set bonus that we were use to. Juggling, saving, and budgeting was stressing me out a bit to bs honest, but I was trying to have a positive mindset. These sacrifices were worth our big picture. Then without realizing our consistent, persistent, determined growth, my Isa bonuses and commissions more than covered Christmas and I didn't have to touch our savings or checking account. I can't begin to tell you how amazing that felt. I need to mention that I'm not talking anything away from my husband as a provider as he's exceeding his own goals but this was entirely new to ME. Personally. Again I say it not to brag at all but to share hope for those who understand that Mommy to boss position I'm feeling. I'm 34 years old. My husband has always been our family provider. I've worked part time and been an entrepreneur and contributed when it fit for our family, but never truly allowed myself to believe I could actually make a 6 figure income doing this. That's for rockstars, I told myself. That's for people with more experience. That's for people that have more time. Or for people who choose to work and not stay home with their kids. It wasn't realistic to me. In July I sat down with a great friend and mentor and told her my goals, then I backed them down and justified backing them down because I hadn't been successful in hitting them prior to this shift. She sat and said ~ your original goals are 100% realistic YOU just need to decide if that's what you want. Had I really decided prior to that? No. I had hoped. But didn't decide. Because my husband has been the primary bread winner my life didn't "require" those goals. We were comfortable. I was comfortable. And that comfort zone is where you go to die. I was dying. I was happy in my life as a mother and a wife, but as a business owner, an independent woman... I wasn't growing a business. I was making money off of a hobby I loved at best. I needed a shift. And it started in my mind. 

So here are some of the mantras I've been working with: 

"Manifestation is just becoming that which you desire. 

Become the belief system that you want to attract. 

Yes I am worthy. 

I am open to creative possibilities. 

Money flows to me freely. 

I earn abundantly for my great work. 

Working on getting my energy into a place of prosperity, receptivity, worthiness and an abundant mindset. "

You can continue to HOPE you get what you desire or you can work to change your mindset. Work to change your vibration. And work to BECOME the belief system you will attract. If you are reading this now and saying I want that. Can I do that? I'm telling you YOU CAN. Am I an expert? No. Am I at the top of my goals yet? Hell no. But I am clearly on my way and reaping the results of the changes. I've found tools, classes, books, groups, trainings and I simply won't stop until I get there. Hello universe and other Boss Ladies that are ready! I have stepped up and it feels amazing. Thank you for allowing me to shine even when I try to dull my own light. 

If you want to learn more about the training I'm doing with Gabby Bernstein here is a short video on this subject: https://youtu.be/wGpACxNYozo

~Define Who You Want To Be 

I choose to see love instead of fear - Day 3 of 42 FEAR CLEANSE

For the next 42 days I am working with an amazing group of women and a guidebook by Gabrielle Bernstein on a FEAR CLEANSE. A guid of subtle shifts for radical change and unlimited happiness. Why? Because it's 100% FOR ME. Unapologetically. I feared how to post this correctly and not use my children for a conceived "political/racial stance". But here goes... 

"Dear Inner Guide: I am committed to transforming my fears to love. I will open my heart and mind to love and I will let my intuition guide me. I welcome all the spiritual assignments that may come and I am ready, willing, and able to smother my fears with the light of love. I choose to see love instead of fear." 

Fear- is homeschooling enough, am I doing right for my kids? Am I doing a good job? 

Fear- what are the opportunities my children will have because of our position in life? How can I balance improving that without losing site of what our family philosophies are? 

Fear- what does the future hold for minority children? Are we going backwards in terms of hate and equality? Will my children have to fight a battle that I myself have truly never had to? 

Fear - will sharing this make me look crazy or weak? 

"There's always a loving perspective. Today I welcome new perceptions. I am willing to let go of my old limiting beliefs and let love enter in. I choose to believe that there is always a loving perspective. I choose to see love."

SHIFTS

🔶Homeschooling is currently the fit for our family, I feel it in every ounce of my being. My kids are thriving. It's not always perfect, but in 16 years of parenting I've yet to find the perfect education fit that fits into our needs and lifestyle. This makes sense. My kids are happy, curious learners, blossoming. I choose love, not fear.

🔶You can give a child every opportunity in the world and if they do not have the respect, work ethic, and drive to follow through with those opportunities it won't mean anything. I make it my full time job to give them as many opportunities as possible and open their eyes to all of the possibilities. Will everything be as easy for them? No. We don't have access to every opportunity, but we will concentrate and focus on the opportunities we do have and focus on action based goals that surround those to know they always are taking advantage of what's in front of them. The least opportunity with the best follow through and attitude is better than the best opportunity that is taken for granted. I choose love and gratitude. 

🔶Yesterday I drove four beautiful, smart, well behaved (two Christian, two non denominational) minority homeschooled children into Boston to take a class at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A STEM class learning with their hands and building prototypes at MIT. They do not fear their future, they do feel like "minorities", or "weird homeschoolers", they feel like lucky kids who get to learn in cool places! That's it. Should I feel bad that I don't relate to fear here? From the time I was able to remember that race and gender could actually be an issue I've loved and lived by this: " I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that’s how I operate my life." – Oprah Winfrey 

And that's what I want for them. No apologies. Does it mean I'm not teaching them reality? No. They will know their truth. But I choose love. 

🔶And last but not least - I am crazy, I am weak. It's part of me. Not something I particularly ENJOY sharing. But it's my story. My truth. The more I stand in it, the more I attract people who understand what I mean by that. Passionate, energetic, outside the box people are all a certain kind of crazy, we just have to harness it. That's a constant work in progress. But more importantly the more I stand in my own truth and struggles without fear of judgement the more I attract people who work on self development themselves because they know, we can all ALWAYS be better. We can all always learn. These are my people. I have no fear sharing with them. Those who react negatively are not my people and that's ok. I choose love. 

Whooooo  I feel better but my hands are shaking.