I often say that my journey is less about me and more about the people I help, which is so true, but sometimes they help me and remind that health, fitness, and a good life starts in your mind! How we speak to ourself and what we think of ourself and our worth. I'm going to be completely vulnerable and share a struggle that many women of all sizes and shapes can often have. Having a healthy body image. Do you know what that means? Do you know why it's important and do you know how to improve it?
I'm going to paint you my picture. So for me for the most part I've actually really worked on maintaining confidence and a healthy body image. Years of competing in figure I struggled with comparing myself to others as that's the nature of the sport, but I came out stronger, realizing genetics and different body types are what they are and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I TRULY have learned to love myself and my body, and most importantly not attach a worth to a goal. BUT when I start working a little harder towards a fitness goal or tracking my progress a little more, sometimes being my worst critic can creep back in. I'm top heavy (and nursing doesn't help that cause), so if I wear the wrong shirt it can make me look ten-fifteen pounds heavier easily. I'm also short and curvy, people will call me tiny and I don't EVER feel tiny, EVER. I carry more muscle than most women (not as much as I use to - but still more than most), and I don't shy away from muscle as I love shaping my body and lifting weights. So all of these things that make up my body can make up feeling fit, but not "skinny", which is my preferred look anyway, but sometimes it does get to my head. I'll catch a glimpse of myself and feel extra thick that day. Or I'll go to try something on and my quads will look extra big in them. This last week was a perfect storm. I tried on bikinis at TARGET - the devil of all dressing room lighting - save yourself- don't do it and I felt like WTH? (I bought one anyway because well it is what it is, I thought). Then I wore an ill fitted shirt for being top heavy and not a great bra and felt SO FRUMPY. Often my way to deal with not putting too much worth on my body is that I will disconnect from it, I will convince myself I really don't care. I'm so many other things beside my body. Things that don't have anything to do with how I look. And so I abandon negative self talk and leave it all right there to die. But sometimes that can backfire because while I don't want to place too much worth on my body, what I put into my body IS IMPORTANT to me. My health is important to me, so I can't just tell my brain it doesn't matter. It does, for other reasons and a healthier body image is a result. So fast forward to Easter Sunday - it was a low key Easter - gorgeous day with just our family so I hadn't planned outfits. Looking through my closet last minute thinking I want something comfy but cute because it was in the 80s. I grabbed this dress and looked at the tag EXPRESS SIZE 2- ugh my boobs are never going to fit into that I thought so I passed it by. I came back around to it... Well I guess there's no harm in trying it on to just see how it fits. So I put it on, zipped it up and sat there. It was perfect. And I thought, the body I've been seeing for the last week felt like a busted can on biscuits. Really in my head I think I wanted to try the dress on to show myself that I wasn't close to feeling "summer ready". But when it zipped why did I light up? Why did that size 2 make me feel a way I wasn't feeling when I had been looking in the mirror? Because I allowed my image of "tiny", "skinny", creep in. It's everything I'm not and I've always actually worked hard to be more sculpted and built. What has been influencing me? I don't know. But I do know that I took a pic in this dress to remind me that we ARE what we say we are. We FEEL how we say we feel. And no matter what shape or size we can determine our strength, and our energy by what we do with our bodies, but not by what we think they look like or should look like. Now many industry professionals would shy away from sharing this. It's bad for your brand, you're the role model yada yada and I'm sharing because I want you to know EVERYONE deals with it. No matter your shape, size, or goals. But you can learn how to make your body image healthier and not need validation from a tag. Now that I type it I realize how silly it sounds. And please don't think I'm here saying don't celebrate a size if that's your goal, that's not my point, my point is don't put so much worth on it that you lose yourself trying to get there.
Body image is the way you see yourself and imagine how you look. Having a positive body image means that, most of the time, you see yourself accurately, you feel comfortable in your body, and you feel good about the way you look. It is common to struggle with body image, no matter who you are. Severe negative body image can lead to serious eating and exercise disorders.
We do not develop our body image all on our own. The people around us and our culture strongly influence it. We get both positive and negative messages about our bodies from family and friends all the time — starting from when we’re very young. For example, we may develop a love of exercise and a sense of being strong and capable if our parents share their own enjoyment of physical activity with us. On the other hand, we may develop a negative body image if our parents criticize the way we look.
We also get messages about body image from television, magazines, films, and other media. Many of the beliefs we have about the way women and men “should” look come from the models and celebrities we see in the media. But models and celebrities do not look like most people. For example, on average, women who are models have very different builds. They weigh 23 percent less than women who are not models.
- Remember that health and appearance are two different things.
- Accept and value your genes — you probably inherited a lot of traits from your family members, so love those traits as you love your family.
- Keep a list of your positive qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance.
- Surround yourself with people who are supportive and who make you feel good about yourself.
- Treat your body with respect and kindness.
~Define Who You Want To Be
