This post had it coming... I TRY to stay on the positive side 90% of the time, but sometimes negativity creeps in just like anyone else. I am human. For those of you reading this who may not know me well you should know that I have a MOUTH. My yiayia called me "the lawyer" from the time I was of preschool age. I have always liked a good intelligent debate, and I have NO PROBLEM voicing my opinion about things that I am very passionate about. Now some of you are reading this and going well that's just a sugar coated way of saying you're a bitch. So not true, well okay KINDA not TRUE. I saw a quote yesterday that I thought perfectly explains this: "Don't get confused between my personality and my attitude. My PERSONALITY is who I am, my attitude depends on WHO YOU ARE." And this is very true for me.
If you look under my "brief description" when I started this blog it says: "I am extremely passionate when I love something I love it with ever fiber in my body unfortunately I try not to hate so equally as I use to have the tendency." I have had to teach myself to let things go. That I don't need to win every battle, prove every point, convince everyone of my ideals. I am not here to "take over the world", life's just not that serious. And I wasn't a serious person by any means, but my instinct when I saw something I disagreed with was to be instantly confrontational... that's a little harsh. I have worked to learn to grow up and not be like that. Every one is entitled to different opinions and I handle my tongue so much better than I use to. I guess being in your 30s you live and learn. I also have never focused on "people are jealous" people are "haters", I always felt like you have to think very highly of yourself to think that you are at a level to have "haters", but guess what I also learned, people do mock you through their own insecurities. We all do it at some point if we're not aware. People do spew negativity when the they don't understand something, fear something, or are incapable of doing it themselves. Mocking it makes them feel better about their own actions. It's leveling the playing field for them. Example - Bob is poor, he hates his job, and cant pay his rent... Derek is rich - Bob say's Derick is only rich because he inherited some money from his parents - when the truth is - yes he did inherit SOME money, but he also worked his butt off to invest, advance, and make that money grow and became successful because of that hard work, while Bob just sat there sulking, hoping his boss didn't notice he was playing Angry Birds. Since Bob feels inferior to Derek, he then feels the need to level the playing field and KNOCK down Derek's achievements and take away his credit so he can feel better about himself. We all know this classic case! Now me- I'm a sponge. I see you took money and invested and worked hard and became wildly successful... well I may follow you around like a puppy hoping that good fortune rubs off on me and ASK for as much advice to learn to do the same!!! - Ummmm case in point WHY Cathy Savage is my mentor! Just saying... besides the fact that she's hilarious! But back to my point. I guess I never really took too much time to acknowledge scenarios like this because they are wasteful and I have better things to do with my time. However, something occurred over the last few days that struck a cord like it has NEVER struck a cord BEFORE and I want to share it. Mostly to share my STRONG opinions about it, but also to show that PEOPLE DO THROW ROCKS AT THINGS THAT SHINE. And A lot of my clients are getting their own shine!! So watch out!!
There are two things that I hold sacred to me in my life and NO ONE CAN touch them - what I do in my business (its my baby) - it has been built on nothing but pure hard work, passion for health and fitness, determination, great clients, and honestly a little luck! And my family!! You touch those two things and I am bound to go crazy old Stephanie on you, however even in this situation I remained very calm considering. I was proud of my maturity :)
People have told me I have arms like a man's and then later they're private messaging me for a diet plan. People have told me they don't like some of the decisions I've made and then again later they're asking me about my programs. People told me after I had Bianca that THEY TOO looked like that after one child - but just to wait until I had more. People have told my husband: "I'm too flashy". I have heard stories about "things" that I'm on that I would never take in a million years and don't even show signs of taking. I use to really let this stuff bother me but honestly I have grown so much that it doesn't even phase me anymore... but that's not the point. When you knock my business or what I love or start attacking my clients personally that's when you have CROSSED THE LINE. And I want to share this so that clients now who are getting into shape, and being termed "gym rats" or "shallow" or "superficial" or "anorexic" you HOLD your head high and think: People throw rocks at things that SHINE! And some of you are shining! That shine can hit others and warm them and encourage them or it can hit negative people and make them jealous. Don't let that dull your shine!!
So to the STORY: I'm going to share the responses word for word simply because I don't want to "create something" that didn't take place and even though to some of you who have never heard me use a sharp tongue you may think woah where did this Stephanie come from? But I think its important to share because its nothing but PURE PASSION.
So I had just recently posted a new client testimonial I was proud of. I get it - on facebook things could be coincidence, we can read into things, and there's no room for tone, and generally I don't even entertain nonsense but the #getaclue hashtag at the end coming from such a clueless post was what caught me.
So its no secret I like and LIVE fitness, some may think its too much or overkill and my feeling is no one is asking you to stay in my network if you don't want to see about my life which HEAVILY will always involve fitness then delete my page - but I digress. So two minutes after I posted a wonderful positive up building testimonial that I was proud of I see...
THIS: "So sick of the damn gym rats posting how cool they r because they work out NEWS FLASH only shallow ass people care bout that ish think about how many years you all have been doing it n still are not satisfied #getaclue"
And my REPLY: "Wellllll since the #1 cause of death in our country is heart disease and 49% of diseases are lifestyle choices related and 1/3 of our country is obese... I'd say being shallow has no relevance. I get where you're coming from but as a trainer I'd say you are wayyyyy off base. Maybe more of our country should start being "shallow" as you say."
And this was the reply that sent me into batshit crazy mode:
"U make a living off people's bad self a steam n I bet you more body builders die of that than any one else I have never met a old healthy gym rat they r all falling apart"
Staying healthy is easy as working hard in the yard lmao
To which my reply was:
Professional bodybuilding and being healthy in the gym are apples and oranges... And if you think yard work is enough to keep you healthy, than good luck!! I like facts vs thought. Don't you smoke? Not trying to be mean but that's pretty much been proven I don't need to debate that. And I make a living off of helping people achieve their goals through structure and self control fitness just happens to tie in nicely with looking good AND feeling good.
And speaking of working in the yard we have a large home made garden box in our yard made from scratch of all fresh veggies and herbs it was a great workout too!
Here's where it took a weird turn His reply:
God brings me good healt not a freakin weight bar good luck with keeping up with the jones tho n ur garden ;)
***When did my financial situation and keeping up with the Jones come into play? Because I can pay my mortgage from a business that's growing? Or because I have a garden box?
And my reply (in full smart ass mode at this point because I was dealing with the same) ;)
Oh no I'm all set with keeping up with the Jones, they are mostly obese, didn't you read that statistic. ;)
His reply I guess to kind of wave the white flag was:
N Steph u win ur in a deferent category ne ways
While I do accept the apology - because we share family and it got a little out of hand - this is not a sincere apology, this is like saying : all woman are dumb, oh except for you hunny.
And my reply:
It's not a fight,I know what you mean its just people sometimes have to overcome these stereotypes to even start exercising so I guess that's why it bugged me a little but no worries... There's def a category of people you described... I just hate to lump anyone who loves the gym into them.
Then it took another weird turn: lets just say someone else came in to defend him I can understand that and said:
and then they pass judgement on on those that do follow the "Fitness LIFESTYLE". 33% of the population have adiction issues, which includes fitness buffs, is that healthy? Oh and lets not forget later lifetime issues from over fitness lifestyles. Such as ligament issues, and muscle seperation. You don't hear about those. Moderation is the key, but how many people moderate anything. Relationships.. fitness buffs have the second highest failure rate at relationships second only to drug addicts.
***Again I was offended because PASS judgement, me???? I work with people from 22 to 68 women from 115 lbs to over 300 pounds. If I passed judgement I wouldn't HAVE MY BUSINESS!
So my REPLY:
Oh yes I can see it now RISING HEALTHCARE COSTS...From Fitness Buffs!!! They're taking the world down one rep at a time!!
And who puts out that statistic on relationship failure for fitness buffs? The CDC?
HIS REPLY: im in the field, and it was published in the Medical journal about 6 months ago under phyciatric influences
The study was done at John Hopkins in Baltimore MD.
He never did state HOW he was in the field but my reply was: In the field then you know for fact that fitness is not even on the charts of "health problems" lets get real. Hypokinetic diseases now those are real and they are preventable and taking over our country. Every heard life over limb? I'll take a hernia, torn tendon any day *knock on wood* over a cardiac arrest. Although again I believe you are talking extremes. I'm gonna end this debate since my profession is being attacked and choose to take the high road and not scrutinize and attack anyone's lively hood, lifestyle, or ability to provide for their family out of respect for *insert mutual family members name here*
His reply to this:
The reason fitness in not on the charts is due to the underlying causes which are. Such as low self esteem, insecurity, depression, and fears. All of which motivate people to fitness. The problem is it is the wrong motivation to start it. Fitness is healthy in moderation, excess will hurt.
And my finally reply: Well 10 years in the industry, and other than in the bodybuilding industry which can be extreme and not what is being discussed I've yet to see all these negative side effects in my experience or formal education... SHOCKER. I'll end with this :"Obsessed is just a word lazy people used to describe dedicated." And again its not just related to fitness. Good luck trying to prove we don't need exercise I'll be waiting to read the accredited article!! Why don't you look up statics on obesity and depression and see how that relates.
The original poster and I did talk in private and decided we both got a little hot headed and needed to let it go, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shocked and hurt by the main statement about me making a living off of insecure woman. This is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I do. And to be grouped in that is something I will fight to NO END. I'm sharing this because I want people to understand what a fit healthy person is dealing with for objections. Who would dislike a healthy person you'd think? But its very common and my clients are even experiencing this. This morning I was talking to one of them who knew NOTHING about this and she shared with me: and its the perfect ending to PROVE my point of this blog! The pic on the left is a pic of her meds she was on after her heart surgery, she said they couldn't figure out what was wrong so were just treating the symptoms that they could. The pic on the right are the meds she takes now!! After simply changing her lifestyle!! And ONE of them they will be able to drop once she has an extended period of recorded time of low blood pressure. And I know she will because I had to send Donna HOME from bootcamp once because her blood pressure was TOO LOW and she needed her meds adjusted!! This my friends is not just "how I make my living" but what makes me FEEL good at night when I lay my head down on my pillow! I'm no "guru" I'm no "magic worker" I give them the tools, the knowledge, and the motivation - YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF!! And yes these women become a part of my life! Donna is ALSO enrolled back in school and she texted me early January to share that we had both made Dean's list! I was so proud of both of us! I know how hard it is to fit in health and fitness and work and school and a house and kids... we're living it together!
Here was what Donna had to say about boot camp and negativity towards it: "I get mad at people when they say you don't need to go to boot camp, I like it, it's part of my life now & I have learned so much that will stay with me forever. I had posted those on my page before & wrote now tell me I haven't done right for myself by going to boot camp & changing my eating and cooking of food thinking that I shouldn't go to boot camp & I should change the way I eat. Some people are jealous so throw negative stuff at you so I got mad, that's hat I was saying about people trying to bring u down with negativeness. Thing is I don't even diet anymore. If I want something I still have it I just know when is a better time and I'm not a big portion person. I can also have a piece of chocolate etc & stop @ 1. I had the will power to do it but seriously I listen to everything you are saying to everyone not just me so I've learned a lot."
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