Every day is a "Goddess Gathering" @@

Ok, this may come off as a rant, and its not intended as so. Well kinda, but less harsh than a rant per say. I'll try my best to keep my "tone" in check. Now this was actually sent to me particularly by another fitness mommy friend. We were just simply discussing it and then she kinda blew up when she found out these women where going to be on GOOD MORNING AMERICA and sent me a message saying YOUUUUUUU should be on good morning America with your message! You should write to them? etc. And she responded on the article. I chose to blog instead because that is what my blog is for - my personal vent, my opinions, etc. And clearly that is what everyone's own blog is for as well... so I will start by saying this is from someone's own blog, they are entitled to their own opinions as well and the message they are sending.

This is the original post: "Goddess Gatherings" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ct-working-moms/post-baby-body_b_1620181.html?show_comment_id=163868816#comment_163868816

Now let me start by explaining my fitness friend Michelle who was rubbed wrong by this. You're probably thinking she must be a bleach blond, super tan, big boobed competitor who was offended right? Because she maybe popped out one kid and looks super model gorgeous after. haha even if this would true her argument would still be valid but it couldn't be further from the truth. In fact I would say you will probably have a hard time finding a more ALL natural, involved. fit momma than her. All natural, vegetarian, non vaccinating, homeschooling, green smoothie drinking from a mason jar, attachment parenting, furniture restoring, on demand breastfeeding, co sleeping, animal rescuing, birthed her babies at home, FIT MOMMA!! And if you followed my blog you will see these may be a little more extreme for my personal taste with my family but I say IF IT WORKS for you, and your family is HEALTHY and HAPPY more power to you. I have utmost respect for people who do their own research, educate themselves and find their OWN way, even if its not MY WAY. But I point out the type of women Michelle is because up her in New England we may call this (and Michelle I know you wont take offense to this) but "crunchy granola" and with this "type" of style the image is very much "embrace your body", love the skin your in, and being connected to your spiritual well being and loving yourself from the inside out. So how does that mantra go with the fact that Michelle has a flat stomach WITH abs, tone arms, and loves to lunge to lift her booty? Especially after having 3 babies and spending so much time focusing on her all natural upbringing of her children. If you're wondering what her stomach looks like and I know you are... here it is, and she has diastasis recti which many get tummy tucks for but she just eats clean consistently and works out intensely (who woulda thunk)...

Well because LOVING the skin you're in does not have to mean SETTLING to some fate that once you have children you are stretched and worn and doomed to look like your only job on this planet was to procreate. You can love your body, and love your family and still STRIVE to achieve a better body. That doesn't make you vain or selfish, that in itself can be empowering! I believe self esteem has to be taught for some, sometimes from experiences good and bad. But like anything else in life it takes working at it. I truly believe fitness is a good starting point because it is saying to yourself "I am worth my own time." "I am worth taking care of first." And it makes you ask yourself what do I want out of my body? If its to be strong, lean, have babies, run, athletic, whatever it is... When making a vow to be fit you are telling yourself I AM WORTH ALL OF THAT. 

I AM WORTH WHATEVER I WANT TO BE. 

It doesn't happen overnight. But the message of just saying: These are our bodies after babies. No matter what we do they have changed so lets run for the ice cream. The only people who can look great after babies are celebrities because they have the $$ to do so... is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MESSAGE TO SEND. 


This is sad to me, not empowering at all. The idea of the gathering itself is not a bad idea per say... women coming together and rejoicing in what their bodies can do and celebrating them, good for them, not my cup of kumbaya tea but more power to them if that's their thing. I actually made my passion of teaching women how to strive to be better in all aspects of their life starting with fitness, a career : 
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=420237494687745&set=a.228373523874144.65510.228354487209381&type=3&theater  

And for the last two years have been getting about 10 women together twice a week... and we "confidence build" through teaching them how to workout properly, eat properly, and learn their own worth! And the side effect is that they look better, feel better, and are healthier!! Maybe we should start calling them Goddess Parties! Oooops watching the tone ;) They don't need to run to wine and ice cream (well soemtimes but thats for a cheat NOT solace) and they do not need to justify their excuses by wallowing in the "woe is me I'm not a celebrity with a boat load of money so I can't do or have what I want." I wouldn't allow such wallowing at my boot camp ;)  That's more my cup of tea, but to each their own. I have clients who are teachers, nurses, stay home moms, biotechnologists, work two and three jobs, are celebrating 25th wedding anniversaries, in their 50s... REGULAR people. CHOOSING to challenge themselves to get fit!
One of my clients wrote the other day and it so touched me: "Steph, You're like my daily inspiration! I sign on to see what amazing advice you'll give today - I didn't know I was getting so much with my bootcamp enrollment! THANKS!"


The thing that really bothers us fit mommas with this message is the negative undertone of inadequacy in comparison to celebrities, that is appalling and sad. It sounds like a bunch of little girls sitting around reading magazines and WISHING they looked like the girls in them. I am sorry but we are grown adults, we know what photo shop is, we know they have lots of money at their dispense, so this is NOT NEWS. US wanting to look like them is our own insecurities, its not their problem. Sitting around WISHING they had celebrities lives, money, or bodies. When a full grown adult says "I WISH" in a serious statement it makes my skin crawl... you have the power to DO, not WISH.

Have they ever taken a step back and though that they have worked hard to get where they are? That they have made sacrifices and overcome obstacles to get to their level? Have you ever thought that will all the money in the world it still takes will power, drive, and determination to look the way that they do after children. Have you ever thought that they worked for it? Have you ever thought to build STRENGTH from that instead of pity or jealousy? Why do women especially (although its prominent among falsely over confident men as well - newsflash guys true people can see through it and it just looks sad) feel a need to knock something else in order to raise themselves up. I have always had some favorite celebrity role models, they of course have all been fit celebrities, but celebrities I think have balance as mothers in their lives. Celebrities I feel are comfortable in their own skin, natural, real. Kelly Ripa, Faith Hill, Elizabeth HasselBack and even now new Momma Pink - her recent breastfeeding pic and views on attachment parenting really hit me: http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/06202012-pinks-breastfeeding-pic-is-simply-stunning/... and moved me to feel "Some women have such a subtle confidence that it moves you. Supporting what you love instead of knocking what you don't takes class and wit that only few possess ♥" So in going with that message I am trying not to knock the blog entirely. I think the INTENT was good, but I also STRONGLY believe there is a MORE EMPOWERING stronger fit message out there to be given to Moms. 

It is: YOUR BODIES BELONG TO YOU. Your choices belong to you. Your family belongs to you. AND YOU DETERMINE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE - on the outside and on the inside. Of all the rights of women I do believe being a mother is the greatest. I love and am SO thankful for my husband of almost13 years! And my children are the greatest gifts EVER given to me, I have been a mother my entire adult life, its all I know its who I am. But loving yourself independent from Mom and Wife allows you to love them more!! True confidence and knowing your worth will radiate into your love for others! I see many mothers living a life of resentment instead of gratitude, and a lot of that stems from having lost themselves in the process, having listened to messages like these that are back sided - on the one hand it says yes embrace your new life/body but on the other hand it says Moms are doomed to post baby bodies and it is what it is. Everyone is allowed to live how they choose but lets not let someone tell us it is ok to use excuses like (since I'm not a celebrity I can't look like that) to justify our choices. I've been through chubby phases too and I own those as when I needed off time, it's all a choice. But I will represent my breastfeeding, stretch marked, no budget for personal chefs, body as many other fit mommas I know and be proud of what we work for even with three kids and real lives. 

And I want to close with this... I have friends who are fit, beautiful and all. I also have friends who are not so fit, and not so beautiful. I have friends who are stay at home Moms, and I have friends who are full time working Moms. I have friends who are co sleepers and other totally against it. I'm friends with breast feeding mommas and formula mommas. I have friends who cook homemade Italian every night of week, and others who are all natural, all vegetarian. I have friends that own big beautiful houses and others that rent apartments. I do not judge people based on these choices or circumstances in their lives. I actually enjoy variety in people and learning things about them. When did motherhood/womanhood become such a great big pissing match in general? But that is an entirely different blog for a different day. I judge people based on if they are happy, positive, and really if they can make me laugh. I don't have strict criteria. Oh and if you have any connections that helps. I kid I kid.


Some references of pics and THE REAL ME :) This pic was taken by a photographer in Gloucestor Ma - At the time I had A 7 year old princess, and 11 month old twins who were delivered by c-section after a pregnancy of bed rest. 

I was not in "competition shape" as in fact that is too lean and too little body fat for most photographer's ideal bikini pic's liking. I SPECIFICALLY (get this) asked the photographer to send me a CD of images WITHOUT airbrushing because at the time I was sending out these pics for other promotional jobs and it is recommended you send out the REAL you. I wanted companies to know I am a Mom, I have stretch marks THIS is what you are working with. You can CLEARLY see my stretch marks in this pic. But the point is I FELT great! I didnt need wine to loosen me up because I truly felt great! I didn't need to run to junk food for emotional support because I willl never have perfect skin again. I agree with the message of accepting that the beautiful gift of motherhood may change your body, but I do not agree that essentially just "letting yourself go" is the motherly thing to do. Sorry I will NEVER subscribe to that. I plan to be in the best shape of my life before I try to yet again GROW my family if that happens for us, and I plan to have a fitness goal afterwards as well. 

This is me now: 5 years later, this was taken Sunday 6/24/12 just hanging out by the pool with my beautiful family. I have not stepped on stage since 2008. Running my business, back in college, raising my three beauties with my husband, taking care of our house, and continuing to grow as a person as a mother and striving to STAY FIT. If you think it must "come easy" for me think again... I need to dedicate a whole blog to my "chubby phase" but I kinda touch base on it here: http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-do-you-eat-how-do-i-eat-when-and.html


This was my mother's day blog some years ago and you will see not much has changed ;) : http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/2010/05/happy-mothers-day.html

And for reference MY VIEWS remain through and through THIS IS ONE THING I REALLY LOVE ABOUT BLOGGING!!! Being able to look back and see my passion jumping off a page...
"My retaliation is because I am so sick as a woman of seeing the WARS between woman...Working vs Stay home, Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding, Co sleepers, vs Crib sleepers, Young Vs. Old. And the infamous Fat vs Thin. ENOUGH ALREADY. I have carried 3 children within my body, slept with them on my chest, nursed them, kissed tiny toes & wiped away tears. I have been puked on, peed on & spent sleepless nights cradling them. My body isn't magazine perfect (hate to break it to you magazines aren't real), but when I look in the mirror I do not see JUST A MOM, I see a beautiful women. I see strength, I see determination, I see laugh lines, I see stretch marks, I see the body of someone I can be PROUD OF. So lets stop copping out to "we are fat because we are cultured". We are a fat nation because we eat poorly, and do not exercise. We have a 34% obesity rate because we don't take care of ourselves. Embrace your curves as long as you know they are HEALTHY curves!" :http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=30

Still too Blessed to EVER be stressed!

WOW I have not blogged since October of 2011. Can you say SLACKER?! Wellll honestly far from slacking just prioritizing in order of necessities. With school, my business, our house, our family, and all our kids extra curriculars... blogging fell to the far wayside. I made a mental note that during the summer months I would try to pick it back up more consistenly, as this is my first summer in two years that I am not taking any classes and I couldnt be more excited about the extra free time!! I'm actually reading for fun again something I gave up for school work, and my body is on a normal schedule, it feels great! Without late night 2am homework sessions I know what it feels like to wake up rested and I have even been incorporating morning cardio again because it helps me start my day on a great note and keeps me up and slightly more focused during the summer months when I have less of a schedule and can easily become a little lazy. I have been using my BUSINESS facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Body-Definition-Define-who-You-want-to-be/228354487209381
to share information/recipes/motivation, but my blog is more personal. Here it sometimes feels like a journal and I can ramble and ramble on just because, which I sometimes need. This post is to adress and slightly make fun of my crazy life. Not much has changed even though I havnt blogged in 8 months. My goals are still going strong and I am proud to say I am contueing to work hard to acheive them, all of them. My business has been consistenly growing and has been more empowering and satisfying than I ever could have imagined it could be. I am always and will always be a MOM first, a career is something I chose to put on a back burner to let my children take center stage and follow their lead of needs. My small business has allowed me to have my cake and eat it too. I have great clients who motivate me and I them. I am staying involved and focused in the industry and yet have the freedom, flexibility, and enjoyment of working for myself. I can officially say I have turned my passion for fitness, healthy living, and a POSITIVE lifestyle, into a way to make money and practice what I preach. For me my business is not so much "what I do" as it is "who I am". I am able to share my knowledge, experiences, motivation, hardships, and find strength through sharing and touch others, to me there is no greater gift. I posted this on the business facebook page but I mean it from the bottom of my heart:

  

"You know I never really talk $$ or the business aspect of my training business much, because my passion for this and genuine love of my clients is my drive. Anyone who meets can pretty much tell $ is the last thing that motivates my choices with my clients. But this IS my business and it has grown considerably over the last two years and I sincerely want to thank each and everyone of my clients who have spread positive word of mouth and sent referrals. I don't advertise because I want positive people coming who know someone who had a good experience and results, not someone just coming for a quick fix. Without you guys I wouldn't be able to do what I do, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! I honestly couldn't possibly love what I do more, and YOU all are helping my business to grow!" My school focus has been strong as well! Making Deans list the entire school year, officially being accepted into the Radiology program (which is very competitive and always full), completing my clinical observation and in Fall of 2012 I am starting my clinical portion in the hospital of the program. For someone who has always had a hard time seeing things through ( mostly because I was more interested in having babies), there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am proud to be seeing it! The fact of the matter is focusing on our future is so empowering. Starting a family at a young age my focus was always immediate, I had to focus on what I needed now to get through and that was it. As I round out my 20s and into my 30s I am finally hitting a point in my life where I am focusing on the future and not just the now. RIGHT now things are GREAT, I couldnt ask for more. I love my business, my husband, our kids, our house, our life, but I am looking at the future and just solidifying making it even beter. People ask me all the time why are you in school if your business is doing good, do you want to switch careers? And the awnser is no - I want to ADD to my options, I want to ADD to my knowledge, I want to ensure security and prosperity. Sometimes it's hard because we want to do things NOW instead of wait, we talk about vacationing more as we did, expanding our family etc but we've been blessed and I'm getting better on working on patience... I've seen our hard work pay off... I can continue to wait for MORE.

Sometimes I think I need this sticky...

 

And then the next question is HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL?! This question is my favorite and for a long time I didnt have a great awnser. And I feel like I finally do. I do it because I can! I may not always be able to so I take advantage of and seize EVERY MINUTE. I am blessed with a supportive family, they may not be here forever so I utilize that support. I am blessed with a great living arrangement - buyng our parents house and having them next door keeps me close to my family and is affordable for us and a great investment to explore extra things like school - so I figure do it now while I can. I am blessed with ENERGY - I am young, I have it now I may not have it like this forever so I USE every ounce that I can. I am blessed with drive and passion - I USE IT NOW! I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and all of this could go away just like that so I use it NOW. But let me make one thing very clear about my life... I am blessed beyond belief, BUT it is NOT PERFECT. I joke and kid about being Super Mom because its empowering when I accomplish so much. But when people tell you they can HAVE IT ALL, they lie. There are sacrifices that have to be made ALWAYS. So I will share some of my crazy life with you :) It's funny to me and makes me smile, sometimes I really feel overwhelmed and thats when I take a breather spend two days organizing and cleaning and maybe a few glasses of wine later I'm back on track. Sometimes I am 10 loads of laundry deep, sometimes my stack of mail that needs to be gone through is enough to fill at least 2 shoe boxes, I've lost books in my house, I've lost calendars/clothes, I've forgotten scheduled appointments, I brought my daughter to daunce auditions on the wrong day, one day two weeks ago I overbooked myself so badly then lost my keys and was consistently 10 minutes late to each and evry appointment that morning (this is a HUGE no no and pet peeve of mine.) I also and I have NEVER done this before sent out nutrition plans to 8 out of the 9 bootcampers and forgot one person, thank goodness she's a great understanding client. I have a to do list two pages long and constantly feel like I'm behind on it... I have my days just like evryone else. But at the end of the day I know I CAN DO THIS! This is like my Mommy chaos confessions, things that make me literally question - maybe I can't do this? Maybe I bit off more than I can chew? And that my friends is the voice of doubt - and you know what someone who is strong and confident and wants to DEFINE who they want to be does to that voice of doubt? They laugh at it! Mock it! And know you are stonger than that. You tell yourself "I will learn from this." I will set up my days accordingly for this NOT to happen again. I will plan better. I will get a new calendar. I will do WHATEVER it takes to acheive what I need to because why?
BECAUSE I CAN!

  

So during the school year... my responsibilities include but are not limited to:
1. My college work load

2.Mommy taxing - all three kids to and from school, extracurriculars, dance, sports, cheerleading, competitions, playdates, library, doctors/dentists, and make no mistake I do not just talk the talk I am a VERY hands on mother its actually what I consider I do best in life :)

3.Running my training buiness - boot camp, in home clients, online clients, emails, anwserinf iftness questions, seminars, etc.

4.I also bartend events part time but I consider this fun work for fun extra $$

5.cleaning, organizing,upkeep and decorating our house and yard

6. Actually scheduling down time and hubby time and family time... this is one thing thats very important as much as I'm on the go I make a point for this. I may run for 6 weeks straight - but then we'll go away for a nice long weekend to make up for it.

7. AND of cousre - WORKING ON MY OWN FITNESS!

 Now during the summer this year our schedules breathes a bit - no part time events bartending, no tons of extracurriculars, no college work load for me, and no school for the kiddos, so we SOAK IT UP! 

We still have a lot going on but we def ENJOY again WHILE WE CAN! Even so let me give you a Thursday/Friday rundown from this week and its a prelude to my funny pic confession of the day - sometimes my car looks like a homeless person lives in it - you will see... So Thursday up at 5:30 am - cleaned the house, switched the laundry, starting making lunch for friends coming over later - made 10 healthy wraps, 13 peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, and a salad. Got the kids in their swimsuits and lathered up in suncreen, went outside to clean the pool and realize our robot cleaner was broken - thank goodness for my Dad, he brought it up to the pool place only to find out we needed a new one, brought the new one home. $$ -  its always something - but that is another blog. Filled up the kiddie pool, watered the garden, mowed the front lawn, watered the front garden, set up the drinks in the cooler, got the pool, floats, and deck area set up and helped my Dad set up the new robot and get that in the pool. Showered and ready for friends to come over @11:30 - great afternoon with friends by the pool till about 4:30pm. Cleaned up the pool area and deck, sprayed it down, put away the floats, covered the pool etc. In the house for dinner and a little awnsering work emails before teaching boot camp at 7:00pm taught 7-8 at 8:30 back to my house to meet a new client! hour consult till 9:30 and started new client. Washed my face, brushed my teeth and FELL INTO BED. - This is what I consider a GREAT Day!! And I was gearing up for Friday am - a client at 7:30, 8:30, and 9:30 before coming home to clean, organize, start my to do list which I am 11 items checked off deep, run some errands, pick up a dwarf hamster and get home to pick up my house again for company coming over for dinner and pool time at 6pm - again totally what I considered another GREAT DAY but just gives you an idea of the busy! Sometimes it gets overwhelming but I cant express enough I CHOOSE to do all of this - WHY? Because I can! Because I love my life like this... because at the end of the day I never feel like I've wasted anything. Yes I have relxing down chill days - I think everyone needs them and sometimes I have to force them, but for the most part I consider enjoying life by LIVING LIFE! And this is my story, I like the way I write however spastic it may be :) And this is why Friday morning when I got into my car I had to snap this pic. After meeting with my client at 7:30 who once again said "I dont know how you do it all" my reply was simply "I'm crazy" (which is partially very true) and then Friday afternoon when I looked at my to do list, tackled my guest bedroom that has been taken over by laundry a light bulb went off - I'm ready to blog about this :) In this pic in my car... 

 

*a cup that had a protein shake in it
*stuffed a banana peel in
*a chobanni yogurt spoon
*empty zone bar wrapper
*2 empty ispoure bottles
*empty water bottles
*cashews
*sunscreen
*versa grips
*deodarant
*VS lovespell lotion
*and for good measure Jay's Gee's coupons

And I will say I have 9 things checked off that to do list :) see it just GETS DONE!