20 innocent children DEAD just like that... what can WE DO?

The tragedies that took place in CT on Friday are something that will never be forgotten. Etched in our minds and hearts, the images of these children being paraded out of the school, covering their eyes, and crying. Knowing bodies lay dead in that school, and watching parents rush to find out if any of those bodies belonged to them. I can not imagine there is EVER a worst day in a parents life than that. I've kinda sat numb. I am not a news junkie, never have been (because there is NEVER good news reported) so I have only watched minimal coverage on the events. I find online networking outlets nauseating after an incident like this. What is meant (I'd hope to believe) to be support, often comes across as morbid unity. I have sat quietly and truly tried to celebrate my children's life and love in honor of those lost. We had a cousin sleepover. Buddy our holiday elf surprised them with marshmallows for our hot cocoa, we watched Christmas movies, played family board games, and laughed. Never once did I not think about those poor victims, but I show my love and appreciation for SUCH INNOCENCE - SO PURE.  But then after feeling numb for a while you do really start thinking, what can WE do? Can we go to sleep like normal, send our children to school on Monday and pretend this event is just a scary incident we see on the news that took place far far away and will never happen in our lifetime?  Do we go back to our busy lives and just continue to hope that "something" though we are not sure of what exactly will change. Just sit and hope WE will never be affected by this personally? What can I DO? What can I DO? It rings in your head. We are as a whole responsible for our society, what can I DO?

As I've witness the pointless gun law debates I think... is that the answer? As you can assume from my use of the word pointless, I don't feel that is the highest of priority. I've watched people massively spread a quote that most likely is not even Morgan Freeman's to begin with, and although it may have a good premise - to not feed into the sensationalism of the media, that too is NOT the root of the problem. I've watched videos of the victims parents (absolutely HEART wrenching - yet in some way so amazingly strong to hear Emilie Parker's father say he was "blessed to be her Father"). I've seen people get the school colors wrong. I've heard people talk about homeschooling, as if that will keep our children safe, because massive shootings don't take place anywhere else but school. I've seen people "sending prayers" which without turning this into a religion based blog I just cant quite comprehend. Prayers to an almighty creator who created the monster who did this, who allowed such evil, what exactly do you say in the prayers? "You really messed this one up!!" I'm sorry I just cant wrap my head around it ever being a part of an almighty creator's plan. I know I don't have faith and that is something I will openly admit, and I know that will offend MANY, but its simply how I honestly feel. It's not that I have a complete disrespect for those who do, I just do not UNDERSTAND it. 

It still all just feels like a bad dream and I'm trying to figure out HOW to even explain this tragedy to my little babies without completely terrifying them. We decided we would enjoy the weekend with them and then discuss the issue on Sunday before returning to school. Well its Sunday at 4pm and no such discussion has been had yet. *SIGH* While laying in bed this morning with our children, my oldest was online looking up articles on the events because as she said: "she wants to make sure that if it is discussed with her peers, she can immediately know the facts and squish any rumors or untruths being spread" - she is very much like her Momma, and I respect her maturity in this. It's also in the same breathe heart breaking to see my 12 year old trying to grasp this. I asked my husband if now (this lovely Sunday morning) was the time to explain it to the younger ones? We are running out of days. He responded with no, not yet it's too nice of a morning, lets wait. Is there ever a good time? And then I think deeper. If we feel so much anguish just EXPLAINING the events to our children, IMAGINE the complete devastation and sorrow for the families directly involved, it is MORE than heart breaking, there are no words.

But above all this... I think HOW can I protect them anymore than I already do without locking them into a bubble? What can I DO?!?! What can WE do?!?! Seems to be the common thought... and all I can come up with is MY responsibility as a parent, as a person DIRECTLY raising the next generation. Loving them, molding them, guiding them, and teaching them their responsibility as humans. How they should feel, how they should think, how they should love, how they should play THIS IS MY DIRECT RESPONSIBILITY. I know the retort can be nature vs nurture, each child is different, with their own DNA, unique dispositions, and personalities, but WE TEACH THEM everything they know. We have that control. We decide who or what we allow into their lives. THIS IS THE ONLY THING I HAVE DIRECT CONTROL OVER. This is our responsibility as parents... are we as a society taking that as seriously as we should????? 

Having a child is lovely, sweet, and beautiful. From the first ultrasound to the first big birthday party bash, just magical. They laugh, giggle, learn new things, every trip to the photographer we grab another memory that is portrayed beautifully and wrapped in a bow. We send them to a good school, keep them clean and fed, and if we're lucky they graduate from high school, go on to college and get a job. CHECK CHECK CHECK, our parenting job is done? Could not be further from the FULL truth of parenting. This only the highlight reel of parenting. Children are not puppies. They face moral dilemmas, stresses of life. We have to teach them trust, manners, respect, individuality, creativity, kindness, logic, hard work, there is SO MUCH INVOLVED in parenting, Are we as a society REALLY carrying our full responsibility as parents? Are we all taking it that seriously? This blog is not meant to say that I am the perfect parent who does all of this, but just my own reflection of the BIG PICTURE. WE raise the next society, we raise the scholars and we raise the murderers. What can I do?? I can't guarantee that my child will never be in harms way. But can I do everything in my power to make sure that I am responsible for making sure he/she is never the one BEHIND the trigger causing harm? Absolutely. That's what I CAN DO, that's what WE as parents can do.

I found some facts that I found worth sharing to look at THE BIG PICTURE and also an article from a Mom that is SO RAW and really addresses the issue from the front lines. I think that's what we need to look at. As gruesome and devastating as this event on Friday was I think its important to realize that overall in 2009, America's crime rate was roughly the same as in 1968, with the homicide rate being at its lowest level since 1964. Overall, the national crime rate was 3466 crimes per 100,000 residents, down from 3680 crimes per 100,000 residents forty years earlier in 1969 (-9.4%).

So our crime rate has not gone up, in fact it's gone down. But extreme tragedies like this do have a common denominator... What has changed?! 

All of these facts I am about to share were written in July of this year from this link: http://www.cchrint.org/2012/07/20/the-aurora-colorado-tragedy-another-senseless-shooting-another-psychotropic-drug/ 
JULY of this year, so this is not NEW information.

Fact: Despite 22 international drug regulatory warnings on psychiatric drugs citing effects of mania, hostility, violence and even homicidal ideation, and dozens of high profile shootings/killings tied to psychiatric drug use, there has yet to be a federal investigation on the link between psychiatric drugs and acts of senseless violence.

Fact: At least fourteen recent school shootings were committed by those taking or withdrawing from psychiatric drugs resulting in 109 wounded and 58 killed (in other school shootings, information about their drug use was never made public—neither confirming or refuting if they were under the influence of prescribed drugs.)

Fact: Between 2004 and 2011, there have been over 11,000 reports to the U.S. FDA’s MedWatch system of psychiatric drug side effects related to violence. These include 300 cases of homicide, nearly 3,000 cases of mania and over 7,000 cases of aggression. Note: By the FDA’s own admission, only 1-10% of side effects are ever reported to the FDA, so the actual number of side effects occurring are most certainly higher.

Mental illness is not something we want to ever openly talk about. I've found even myself avoiding sharing my opinions (and I have strong ones) simply because mental health and depression is so common in our society we may all know someone who is affected or medicated. Nor is it an excuse or a way to sympathize with a murderer, but instead an eye opener to PREVENT these situations from occurring. Every instance following a massacre like this we hear the family often say they could see that something bad could have happened, yet no one was moved enough to act or take precautions. Out of EVERYTHING I have read and seen on the issues and this tragedy, this article written by a mother who can see right before her very eyes how theses situations occur, was most telling. She is honest, she is scared and she is admitting she NEEDS help. She cannot even protect her own children or herself, how do we then expect that she is protecting our society from her son. How many more mothers are dealing with this and cannot get help or are afraid to acknowledge it or admit it?  

http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother?fb_action_ids=4627214990883&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map={%224627214990883%22%3A398996703509226}&action_type_map={%224627214990883%22%3A%22og.likes%22}&action_ref_map=[]&post=55295171:

***"No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, "Something must be done."
I agree that something must be done. It's time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That's the only way our nation can ever truly heal."***

If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. Maybe that's why I've been so quiet. ;) I too like most women fall victim to a few crazy days every month. Maybe its TMI but its a part of life. I honestly use to think PMS was the biggest woman cop out in the world. Hormones don't change your moods? Really my chocolate craving, teary eyed, bloated, sleepy, migrained self in the last few years has eaten those thoughts. Everything was going smoothly and I should have known by my extreme need for a nap (I hardly ever ever am tired), my extreme cravings to want to go off food plan, and the scale not budging a single solitary ounce, that a storm was coming. I think my biggest downfall with my monthly friend is I just get grumpy because my stomach feels like its going to fall off and I tend to not work out at least for one or two days because I'm so uncomfortable. Working out for me puts me in a great positive mindset, so missing that coupled with being uncomfortable, tired, and bloated, and well I'm simply unpleasant. I will admit that I had a few "off days", and am now back on track ready for the gym and excited to challenge myself to step up my game to get back to focused positive Stephanie :) There are no excuses. We choose every decision we make, so I OWN it!

Hope everyone can push themselves to step a little outside their comfort zone this weekend and challenge themselves a little extra with their workouts. My progress for the week is down .8 - again nothing spectacular but considering the week I've had - I will take it! And I know I didn't do anything for a few days to truly deserve solid progress. Part of this process is being honest with yourself and admitting when you put the work in and when you didn't! Its not taking your challenge lightly or making excuses, but knowing when you need to adjust because you didn't do what you needed to. The way I look at is don't dwell... move forward... "A fresh mind keeps the body fresh. Take in the ideas of the day, drain off those of yesterday." And on that note off to the gym! And making some sweet potato fries this weekend! YUM! http://www.yourhealthyhedonista.com/2012/08/boiled-baked-sweet-potato-fries.html

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."

During the summer is usually my "easier time of life" we're still busy but obv less busy than normal. This week felt like a "typical fall week". With doctors appointments, dance camps, workshops, school meetings, two full boot camps, clients, and not missing my own workouts and goals, it was a bit of a hectic week. Yesterday alone my day started with 5:30 am workout, drop offs, having 5 boys all day ages 7,5,5,5, and 19 months and ended around 9pm after teaching back to back boot camps. ALL things I have been blessed with and truly enjoy doing, but I was still beat to the bone! My day today started off busy but ended with some shopping and involved purchasing two new pairs of shoes... After an ultimate super mommy week I said to myself I am paid in love, there is no greater gift... Okay I am paid in love and shoes :)




Then I went on to watch my daughters awesome dance routines from her week at dance, taking another step for my program at school in the fall, AND a NAPPPPPP, a glorious, nice, uninterupted NAP -  which was like heaven and so needed. This week has been wonderful - full of all positive productive things - I'm just a little tired from the constant productivity - in other words - I desperately need a lazy day!! Hoping Sunday can make that happen!

Progress has been great, I feel harder/tighter this week and my workouts have def hit a better level leaving me super sore all week which may have added a bit to the fatigue, but I worked it out! The scale didn't move this week, and I would love to take the time to focus on writing and sharing about the importance of the scale not being the only deciding factor in progress because this is a great subject, but to be quite frank, I don't have it in me to go off on a subject, but its a message I like to drill quite often. I will touch a little on how weight looks differently with muscle, but I'm still quite tired, have a list of client emails I need to get to and looking forward to another busy day and friends wedding tomorrow, so this will be a short update of a blog.

I will say that this morning was quite a pleasant surprise in terms of my own progress in physique changes... I had planned for the wedding tomorrow to wear a formal dress already in my closet. A- because I have many, B- this is a group that I have never been to a wedding with and we attended like 3 or 4 wedding last year so I figured one would work, and C- I honestly was too exhausted to shop. To my surprise and delight... I tired on all of my dresses - some of which only fit in the summer when I tend to be leaner and they were TOO BIG! Either material ruffling up, big pockets on the side, or falling off up top! I was shocked. It is nice when your focus becomes just being healthy and staying in shape and you don't even realize you are hitting new goals in the process. I then tried on my testament of truth. That one piece of clothing we all have. It only fits when we are at a certain size and its usually very old. We keep just to see if we just fit into it. This particular item is a one piece skort outfit from express I bought it Freshmen year of high school!! I was a whopping 14 years old! Now my goal is not to have my 14 year old body... however I haven't really grown since then so essentially its a guide. Its a size 1/2 - which I'm not generally a "size person" because I really think every brand store is different and it doesn't matter. The fact is I've had it since high school so its my center of reason for small size on my frame. Put it on this morning in my midst of my own little fashion show and it fit!! FELT GREAT!! As exhausted as I may be, I know I've been able to keep my goals and fitness strong even with all of my craziness in life. To every Mom who thinks they cant, who thinks they're too busy, who thinks they'll wait until their kids get older, I'm telling you now.. DO IT NOW. We can give and give and give. We can work, we can clean, we can love unconditionally... but you DESERVE some of your own attention. It will give you more energy and positivity to work with, trust me your kids will thank you :) and SO will your man! And speaking of men, my husband hit a pretty big trying on marker of his own. As I mentioned we have a wedding tomorrow, and he has various suits for various weights in his closet. His favorite suit however he purchase back in 2003 when we went on our first cruise to Bermuda, its a nice pin stripped suit, crisp clean and so handsome. He's not been able to fit into it for quite sometime but has always kept it, hoping someday he would be able to.



Well he tried it on this morning and it fit!! He was very excited and I am proud of him sticking to his goal as well!! Healthy rounds all around :)

So quick little food idea. I love it, my clients love it, and its always great to have ideas. This one came courtesy of when I took Jenny Hendershots Phat Camp last year : http://www.getphatwithjen.com/
which was phenomenal by the way and I highly recommend it! I believe she is coming back to Boston in October! I love deviled eggs and this is kind of a spin on that. Boil your eggs, take the yolks out and spoon hummus back in to fill. Great high protein, clean snack!! I use roasted red pepper hummus DELISH!!



Hope everyone stays on track and has a wonderful weekend!!

BEYOND REASON

Some people simply refuse to accept limits or listen to conventional wisdom. Instead of merely existing in history, they have the daring and courage to change it. Their drive takes them beyond the ordinary, and their sense of purpose propels them far beyond the boundaries of reason. At Oakley, that spirit infuses everything we do. For Oakley athlete Lolo Jones it's putting 12 years of work into 12 seconds of hurdles. BEYOND REASON.

Some people cannot understand our fascination with athletes. And that's perfectly fine, I get if its not your thing, its not your thing. But APPLY this mentality to ANYTHING in life. You want to purchase a home and it takes you 12 years to save, and scrape and sacrifice to do so. You want your PHD, and you struggle and study, take school loan after school loan to get it. You want to own your own business, you build it from scratch. Year upon year of not paying yourself, up late nights, work your tail off and it succeeds. You want to start a family. You want to MAKE a difference. You want a better position at work. You want a better life. WHATEVER it is, you have to be willing to be relentless and WORK for it. People who do great things are not lucky, nor are they simply blessed. They have failed, and they have had tough ties just like anyone else. Many have wanted to quit, some HAVE quit. But that is where the fascination lies. There is something SPECIAL about their ability to dig down and accomplish. I know many will say well what about the single Mom who digs down? What about the woman with cancer who was able to dig down? What about the child raised from drug addicts that was able to dig down? And what about the teen Mom that was able to dig down? Those people inspire me too! Every point in your life YOU have power, ONLY you. Everyone pity's the weak, I don't want pity. Jealousy is earned! I don't want jealousy either. I just want like this video expresses that feeling FOR MYSELF - overcoming doubt and accomplishing what you need to accomplish and finding that JOY WITHIN.  I thrive off that!

I realize my message is fitness based BECAUSE that is what I do. However it applies EVERYWHERE in life and that is why I find it so inspiring. You would not believe the emotion and struggles I deal with in this industry working with clients. Its why I have such passion for what I do, and why I am good at what I do, because I truly care. I SEE first hand that something that seems so straight forward and simple - Workout 4 days a week and eat healthy - is not so simple. There's so much EMOTION attached to food and your body image. There's emotion attached to your genetics, and your body's make-up. There's vulnerability attached to your confidence, your goals. Fitness is so much more than just workout 4 days a week and eat healthy - IT IS NOT so simple. And I find when I'm challenging myself a little more, I too am reminded how MENTAL this is more than physical. How your mindset plays the MOST important ROLE.

So without further rambling because I'm having an extremly busy and inspired day, I will do my own personal log.

Sunday I had a cheat day - more so just a few off hours but it was due with progress. The one thing I do like about cheating is just not having to THINK about my food so much. But one thing I hate about cheating is after consistently eating clean for a period of time, greasy fatty food makes me soooooo sick to my stomach. Without giving TMI (too late its coming) - "cheat food" goes RIGHT through me. Its really putting a dark cloud on the whole cheating experience for me. Who wants to enjoy one hour of fun food to be sick and in the bathroom for the next 4 hours? YUCK no fun! And I also don't feel like my cheat meal is doing its purpose of re feeding me and filling me up if I'm dehydrated, drained, and sick following it. So I'm thinking I may have to replan my cheat meal planning. I may just have to up carbs for the day instead and stay away from excess fat or totally off plan foods. A "typical cleaner refeed" day instead. I'm ok with that, bagels make me just as happy :) And you know what never makes me sick? Wine. Wine never makes me sick ;)

Workouts have been great and cardio intervals have been challenging me like no other!! I've missed training like this!! Prepping food has made my life SO much easier! Again I haven't been as fun in the kitchen with variety but for simplicity and consistency its working!! In your spare time ;) try this interval program on the treadmill! Fun times! And for those who feel self conscious walking backwards on the treadmill to that I say... get over it. Step outside your comfort zone. Your tush will thank you!!  At first people may stare but when you are getting into better and better shape I guarantee you will then see "followers". Its so true. At first people ask WHY you do something? And then when you get results they ask HOW you do it?

**And one last honest somewhat funny note... whoever said beauty knows no pain has never worn the wrong cute underwear vs. the comfy underwear to the gym while doing this program!*** NOT FUN!

And today I'm off to a CUPCAKE workshop with the kids!!! Not once lick of frosting shall enter this mouth... not one lick of frosting shall enter this mouth... not one lick of frosting shall enter this mouth!

Sprinters abs!!

TWO BAD DAYS on the weekend can ERASE 5 good days of progress, REMEMBER THAT! If you are trying to maintain, then that balance may work for you. But if fat loss is your goal you will be caught like a hamster in a wheel, never progressing because the damage the weekend brings is erasing the hard work you put in over the week. Stay consistent and opt for a nice TREAT meal at the end of the week. A 3 hour span of freedom. A break mentally and physically from your goals. Its a reward for you to earn, a treat for you, and a turning point to get right back on track for the next week and new goals.

Yesterdays log: I decided I needed to get some sleep since I'd been waking at 5:00am all week so I did not opt for am cardio. I lounged in bed a little and just relaxed with the kids. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes it just makes it harder for me to get motivated. I ate breakfast later than normal and I played around on the internet. It was going to be a hot sunny day so I seriously was debating the gym. I planned to get it in early and pool it the rest of the day but I was being lazy. I was watching Olympics clips with the kids and after watching this one of Gabby Douglas I really wanted to go to the gym!!

Athletes have always been inspiring to me. Their determination, their work ethic, their heart... it just motivates me watching them! Who can watch such strength, confidence, beauty and poise from a CHILD and not be motivated?!?! So up and off I went with my day and it was a GREAT ONE!

Ironic while doing intervals on the treadmill guess who happened to be on the TV screen in front of me???

Ms. Ripped Ross with etched out abs running her heart out!! Coincidence? I think not! Total Olympic Motivation #2 of the day!

I hate running!! Not gonna lie, but I did my interval session like a good girl and I liked it! Ok I liked how I felt after completing it, but I did not LIKE IT ;)

If you wanna try it! Love training like this: focused and done and changing it up so often makes it go by faster.

This workout was given by http://www.mikedaviesfitness.com/ My old fitness trainer when I competed. Even though I'm not training for a show I'm just training for my own accomplishment I still like to PUSH myself!!

Instructions:  This program is done on the treadmill and contains three
different intervals involving walking, lunges on the treadmill, and
running.

WARM-UP:  EFX at a moderate pace for 10 minutes

INTERVAL :  Set the treadmill at a 2% incline at a speed of 3.6+ and walk
for two minutes.  Back the speed down to 2.0 or less and lunge on the
treadmill for one minute.  Immediately up the speed to 6.0+ and run for two
minutes.  At the conclusion of the run up the incline by 2 to 3% and
repeat the cycle adjusting the speeds for each section the same.

INTERVAL BREAKDOWN

INTERVAL         TIME
ADJUST INCLINE to 2%
Walk         0:00-2:00
Lunge         2:00-3:00
Run         3:00-5:00
ADJUST INCLINE to 5% - I chose at my level of conditioning to leave the incline at 5% but you could continue to increase with each cycle if you are ready.
Walk         5:00-7:00
Lunge         7:00-8:00
Run         8:00-10:00
ADJUST INCLINE to 5%
Walk        10:00-12:00
Lunge        12:00-13:00
Run        13:00-15:00
ADJUST INCLINE to 5%
Walk        15:00-17:00
Lunge        17:00-18:00
Run        18:00-20:00
ADJUST INCLINE to 5%
Walk        20:00-22:00
Lunge        22:00-23:00
Run         23:00-25:00
Cool down - Walk 3.6 for 10 minutes.

**Favorite meal of the day... 2 oz flank steak, 3oz chicken, roasted red pepper hummus on the chicken and 1 tbs tabouli on the steak and a boat load of asparagus and green beans sauteed... YUM!!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!! And can enjoy some of this beautiful hot summer sun!! Stay fit, healthy, happy, and real :)

**Progress tracking, I am down 1.8 lbs since Tuesday**

"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one." (Ancient Chinese Proverb)

HAPPY THURSDAY!! One more day to the weekend always makes me happy :) Today was great! Started off with am cardio and ab work with a girlfriend, sweating it out while girl chatting always seems to make it so much easier. Time flies! All my food being prepped is I will admit a little boring with variety, but I just find myself not having to think AT ALL about what I'm going to eat or prepare or bring. Definitely puts some ease into eating cleaner. Took the kids to a fun educational workshop today. It was a Fossil dig! They got these cool little kits of "rocks" with 4 actual fossils inside. They had to dig, scrape and find the fossils and dust them off and identify them matching them to the cards and descriptions that came with the kit. It was very cute! They were little paleontologists for the day!! They loved it... Honestly I did too!

Right after our Fossil Dig I came out into the car and wolfed down my next meal preparing myself for the next treat for the kids of the day. A trip to Friendly's!! Now normally the Nines or somewhere with halfway decent healthy food, I could have manipulated my meal there at the restaurant to fit. But honestly something "healthy from Friendlys" did not sound appealing at all. Honestly Friendlys in and of itself does not really appeal to me much at all, but the kids are obsessed... so whats a Mom to do? So I ate in the car my packed meal, knowing I wouldnt eat there. Makes sense anyway, wrangling three kids in a restaurant - coloring, playing games, making ketchup bulls eyes, picking meals, cutting food, trips to the bathroom, I'm lucky if I get to focus on my food anyway, so it works good with me not eating. Less stress actually since I'm solely fixated on them. Less stress is relative - boys and indoor voices are a working progress.

I did however treat myself to a nice refreshing beverage to enjoy while I watched them pound quesadillas and ice cream. I will say a few weeks ago I did "indulge" and get a quesadilla at Friendlys with them and was sick so badly to my stomach for about 8 hours! It was miserable, too much grease and excess fat hurt my belly bad. So honestly there was no hard feelings about not eating. My "treat" today was my venti unsweetened iced green tea. I don't drink coffee, so this tea is just my little treat that I love. Its refreshing, it keeps my mouth "occupied" and green tea has many health benefits. 

Click here to read more:  http://chinesefood.about.com/library/weekly/aa011400a.htm

The entire day (and my clients can vouch for this) :) I answer emails and texts regarding programs in between my madness. This evening I chatted with an online client who is doing great!! You guys seriously motivate me!! I know everyone's journey is different and to see you all fighting for it despite your struggles makes my heart happy and is SO rewarding I cant even begin to express! 

• This client is already down 9 lbs 
• lost 1.5 in her Bust 
• lost 2.5 in her waist
• Lost 1 in her Abdomen
• Lost 2 1/4in her Hips
• Lost 1 inch in each leg
• Lost 1.5 in her arm

I finished the day off with some much needed housework, laundry, and family time chilling outside... 

I LOVE SUMMER NIGHTS!!

August FIRST!!!

The first day of August is so very bitter /sweet. I love the first of the month just feels so FRESH and renewing - sweet. I do however dislike the first of the month because it means bill time - bitter. Add to today a trip to the dentist - who do I make the check out to? And a trip to Lowe's for a new washing machine because ours decided to die the night before we were going away (perfect timing). The good news I learned about Loews - they deliver for free and they haul away the old one for free - best news I heard all day! I also went to a fun/ice cream center with the kids as Bryce's reward for the dentist and I FORGOT my coupons!! Seriously I have like 9 coupons to this place and didn't bring one - another bitter. So today was a lack luster start of August. HOWEVER, I may be a little bitter as well because we just got back from a great trip away and back to reality no matter how sweet it is always leaves me a little sober when I'm drunk off vacation. Yes, I'm on summer vacation with the kids and I am beyond blessed to have the summer with them, but its just not the same as vacation vacation - ahhhhh so nice! Having my hubby home is the best!

Anywho AUGUST FIRST = GOALS. I'm going to set a blog one for myself that ties into fitness. As the month of August I have two boot camp sessions that are full!! Several online clients, and a handful of in home clients I stay on top of fitness correspondence anyway. One thing I do miss about competing is in the fitness world many would keep fitness journals of their fitness preps, myself included. It was a great outlet. A dear Diary if you will to share your journey. Your ups, your downs, your diet confessions, your workouts, your day etc. It was as I said, a great way to both interact, get encouragement, encourage, and stay accountable to your goals with like minded individuals. Because that can be time consuming interacting too much, my goal for the month of August is to "journal" if you will, here at my blog. Some days will be short and sweet, some days will be vents/check ins/confessions. If you want to follow along please subscribe to my blog as I see hundreds and hundreds of views but realize many are not subscribed, and I wont be posting links to facebook each entry as its only for those interested in following. Also if you are subscribed and following you can comment/ask questions etc.

So AUGUST FIRST - my check in. I have been living the healthy fit, eating mostly clean lifestyle now with balance for about two years. Balance of staying dedicated to the gym and my workouts, encouraging my clients by setting an example. And eating clean about 80% of the time and still indulging in treats here and there and during the summer winnnnneeeeeee. I've mentioned before your plan needs to align with your goals. Its cyclical for me depending on events/holidays and with the summer I have been equally as focused on fitness as I have been on wine because its my balance. I have extra time to work out and I have extra time to drink wine :) Therefore my physique goals have been simply feel good in a bikini, be healthy - nothing more, nothing less.

NOW - August first comes and I feel a smiggen of this pressure coming over me, and I'm trying my best to not let it get to me. We still have plenty of summer left but I have a LIST of things in my head that need to be done before August 27th (the night before the kids first day of school). I REFUSE to stress too much so I'm also using this fitness journal blog as an outlet to focus on my peace and not the million things I need to do.  In my head the thoughts are swimming... I have almost 25 clients this month to take care of. I'm not use to being so busy in the summer months - ZERO complaints because this is great! Business has been expanding but I'm making sure I have it under control. We have dance camp, school shopping, my own school orientation, educational/fun workshops, playdates,getting my schedule set for fall, a cast coming off, a wedding, a baby boy with a cut still trying to heal. And then at the end of the month we're celebrating my 30th birthday a couple weeks early with a fun night/day in Foxwoods. These are all great things!! Not a negative among them (well except my boo boo boy) I just feel that "pressure" a little of August first.

So my fitness goals - there's 80% clean and focused and then there 100% clean and focused for competing - I'm trying to find about 93% to be completely honest for the next few weeks. Just my own little personal goal, my own little challenge. I want to challenge myself NOW while I can before school starts and that will be my focus.So I've stepped up my dedication a bit in the gym and I've cleaned up the nutrition a bit too - after our trip to Ben and Jerry's of course. And suddenly I remember the DIFFERENCE between 80% and even 90 % never mind 100%. THERE IS A BIGGGGG DIFFERENCE. No more nibbles here and there, even less processed convenient things. HOLY COW it makes your metabolism CRAZY!! 45 minutes on a preset interval program on the stairs is NOTHING compared to a real old fashion change the levels by yourself challenging interval HIIT session... holy sweat buckets and OUCH - kicked my butt but felt SOOOO good!!! And serious question - WHO THE HELL can do level 20 on the stairs?!?! Seriously!! Unless you're 6 feet tall or an olympic athlete it seems damn near impossible! Oh wait let me add WITHOUT breaking out all of your teeth falling. The highest I've hit this week was 15 and I was running on the stairs and legit a little scared for my life! INTENSE! But it was the push and jump I needed.

So my goal for AUGUST - to lose one lb of body fat per week. I know doesn't sound aggressive at all. but one pound of PURE fat, not muscle not water. 4 lbs of fat over the month. At the stage I'm at that's all I want or am willing to fight for at the moment, while keeping some balance. I may not be able to tell by the scale, I may not be able to tell by getting my body fat tested but I will be able to tell by my abs. pics don't lie.

So here is my starting pic taken today - lets see what 4 weeks can do :)



I actually technically started on July 31st - because we got back home and I was ready to start but I'm really still to be 100% getting onto plan 100%. You know you are eating cleaner when weird things you would NEVER touch all of a sudden are SOOOOO appealing!! Today I was STARVING - and I eat SEVERAL times a day!! PLENTY OF FOOD - just need to crush my cravings and get use to this - I opened Bryce's chocolate pudding and licked the cover! WHY?! I dont know couldnt tell you. I havent eaten pudding since I was a kid, nor ever had a desire to but I'll tell you - it was DELICIOUS! That's all I had a lick  - I apparently enjoy torturing myself! Later that day Bryce didnt finish his SMORE poptart - damn kid - eats my rice cakes when he smore pop tarts and then has the NERVE not to finish it. I'd be lying if I didnt say I took off the top quarter of the poptart before throwing it away and it was soooooo good!! SMORE poptarts are the damn devil. And last little nibble of the day - I came upstairs to charge my phone and get ready for the gym and what did my husband leave out?!?! An open bag of sour cream and onion chips? So I popped a few before closing them up and putting them away. There - my nibble confessions for the day!! But my food is prepped, measured, and I did great the rest of the day and finished this evening off with a great workout. I feel my fire coming back. I just need to cut the nibble crap. I'm a fan of if I'm hungry I'll just eat more healthy food, not nibble on nonsense. A cheat is a cheat - scheduled allowed and guilt free - those little nibbles do nothing but mess with your head and willpower.

So here we go to August FIRST - MORE SUN, FUN, SUCCESS, and FOCUS!!

SUMMER MOMMY is the nicest Mommy :)

Staying home with your children in the summer and not spending a fortune occupying them can be a bigger task to tackle than many will realize. I thought as my children got older they would probably more enjoy some fum summer camps to keep them busy. I love spending time with them but assumed after too much time I would hear "I'm bored" all summer or I would look for alone time myself. Turns out I'm kinda a fun Mom because they love being home and my oldest daughter even REQUESTED not doing a two week camp she was signed up for and her month summer extracurricular so she could be home with us all summer! Gotta say that makes my heart skip a beat to know my kids love being with us :) And I LOVE having them HOME!

I look at summers as cherished cherished times and LOVE being able to spend them with my children and create memories that will last forever. HOWEVER, everything nowadays is SO expensive. Just a trip to the movies for a family of five can EASILY run over $80 and that's on the conservative side. So after summers upon summers of always feeling like I'm playing catchup with finances from added spending, I think I finally have it down. So here are some mommy tips to help save and still have fun.

#1- and this was actually a tip taught by my madre (she is very old school and frugal with finances and believes strongly in the pay yourself first rule) - Set up a small savings account at the beginning of the year to be deposited into your checking account the first of July as extra summer spending $$. Depending on how much you can afford to have pulled directly out of your check will determine your extra spending cash, but even if its as little as $50 a week, having it pulled directly out of your check you don't have to make a conscious effort and even that would mean at least $1200 deposited into your checking for some extra cash for day trips/etc. It feels really good to say ok we have a budget for Fourth of July weekend - what shall we do? Instead of I just paid all the bills - we don't have any extra right now to do anything this weekend. Then in July that savings account withdrawal switches over to a Christmas account - see how easy that makes it?

#2 - Use living social/ groupon/ daily deal sites like this! We have been on boat cruises, to water parks, to kids shows, to dinner, away for weekends all at VERY VERY discounted prices using these sites. Up to 60% off sometimes. I figure if you plan to do something anyway why not do it discounted and often you find places to go you would have never heard about without these deals. Its a win win

#3 - Take advantage of Library Passes to museums - our Library has passes to so many different museums in Boston, Aquarium, play places. It makes a big difference when you're talking HALF off admission. We went to the Science Museum on Memorial day and instead of $19 per person X 5 - we paid $7 per person with library passes - THAT'S almost a $50 saving, just for reserving, planning, and picking up a pass!

#4 - PACK LUNCHES - wherever you go! Not only is most food out complete and pure junk but it is incredibly expensive junk!! This saves you so much over the course of the summer.

#5 - Find free places to go - Boston has a Free Friday events program all summer - with free events throughout the city - zoos, museums, etc TAKE advantage of that. Chunky's does a little movie lunch date - its an older movie but the movie is free as long as you buy snacks. There is a kids bowl for free coupon online you enter your info and the kids get FREE bowling tickets 2 games a day all summer! LOOK for these deals!! There's a lot out there and they save!! 

#6- Find free water play - There are so many little lakes/parks/water sprinkler areas that are free and so much fun for kids! And others that are not priced badly for a full day of activities! Some of my favs! Well my favorite water places that are safe, not to packed and offer like playgrounds/picnic areas as well not in any order 1. Patuckaway - up in NH its a lake and playground area super cute. 2. Veteran's Memorial Park - in Dracut - its not for swimming actually its a water sprinkler/spray park the kids love - good for all ages with a walking path/baseball fields/park and then the spray area. (FREE) 3. The American Legion in Georgetown. There's a small lake/beachy area + a nice playground area with tire swings/zip lines/swings and baseball fields and everything. There's shady areas too which is nice (FREE). 4. Spring Brook Park in Bedford is really cool too and is great with kids of all ages because its man made so it doesn't drop off at all but there's a big slide for older kids and shade, basketball hoops, a huge water sprayer area/swings they even have grills there etc. 

#7 - Get season passes - they may seem like more of a chunk of change at first but they really do make sense and save $$. Prior to moving to out new house we live in now with a pool we had season passes to Water Country. We made our $$ back in two visits and it was nce to be able to go anytime we wanted pack a lunch and never have to reach into our wallet once all summer for this fun treat once the passes were purchased.  

#8 - Keep it Simple, but fun. The best gift we can give our children is enthusiasm and that doesn't cost a penny! Keep it simple, but creative and fun. Family movie night with snacks and snuggled up on the couch are one of their favs. Playing restaurant complete with menus and accents is better than any restaurant I could ever bring them too. Family camp out night (when we all have a pj "party" and sleepover in the same room). Family fires and s'more nights ROCK. Family art nights/game nights all free free free. And we really realized this year with our summer vacation, we were taught a valuable lesson. Usually we rent a house in a popular more touristy part of New England, not for any reason other than we think that's the best places to go and we're close to things - what "things" I'm not really sure because we go to relax and enjoy summer and family time. Being in those locations makes it more expensive. THIS summer my older brother who lives down south was in charge of renting our lake house and he found this tucked away gem by Mount Monadnock in New Hampshire. It ended up being less expensive than we usually have because it was in the woods and not close to a city, but it was just what we wanted. It had all the amenities. On a beautiful lake, fire pit, its own golf cart, huge rolling hill yard, game room, air hockey table, horeshoes, a boat house with kayaks, canoes, a sail boat, floats, a dock, fishing poles, hammock, everything we wanted and more. It was HANDS down one of the best vacations we have EVER been on and one of the least expensive! Really made me appreciate my older brother for not thinking of "the hot spots" but more of what we all wanted and what the kids and everyone would like. It was perfect.

#9 - Find workshops that are free and or inexpensive. There is a new store in our area called Noggin Works http://www.facebook.com/thenogginworks it is awesome!! We signed up for 8 workshops over the course of the summer and they're all fun educational workshops for the kids. The first one we did was a Science Lab. They learned all about polymers and acidity and they actually had so much fun doing it! The workshops are only $5 per child and they got take home goodies as well. Our next one is FOSSIL DIG! Can't wait. The library has workshops/storytimes/and craft times all free as well. 

#10 - Cut coupons/ find kids eat free nights! I am always on the hunt for buy one go kart get one free or Spend $25 at Friendly's get $10 off. These little amounts help if you're out and about a lot. Michael's has Kids night, The Ninety Nine kids eat free after the Red Sox Win, And Friendly's kids meal are only $1.99 all day on Wednesdays, I believe IHOP has a kids night as well. With three kids this SAVES!

#11 - Offer to babysit for working Moms. If you like children and their children get along with your children this can be a great thing!! We have just taken on a friends kids one day a week, my children look forward to it SO much and so do I. I LOVE having a house yard full of kids so this is a FUN day for us and the little extra $$ pays for another fun activity for the week. Its a win win!

#12 - Use group rates. If you have a group of friends and want to go somewhere you can often get a group rated discount, its worth asking! 

#13 - Ball games are great summer fun!! Spinners games are a fun inexpensive little day trip. My KIDS LOVE THEM!! Way cheaper than going into Boston for a Red Sox game, and more interactive and fun with the kids. I guess if you have kids who are really into sports and have good attention spans (I'm jealous if you do BTW) maybe they'll appreciate the Red Sox and it'll be worth the trip for you. But our kids have gone to Red Sox games and asked to leave less than halfway through. WHAT A WASTE!!! The Spinners games are geared to kids. The food is not expensive and on Holiday weekends they have great fireworks after the SHOWS!  http://www.milb.com/index.jsp?sid=t558

#14 - PICK YOUR OWNS - taking the kids to local farm to pick the fruits of the season is a great summer activity! They have fun, you pay by pound for fresh fruit that you're going to eat anyway, and its free child labor! ;) We LOVE doing this!!

Hope this was helpful... I budget and plan just like everyone else and love when people share tips/ideas/places and ways to save!

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

This blog is going to be short and sweet. Fully enjoying my summer and although I thought I would be blogging more as I've had many subjects that have popped into my head, I've been enjoying my "unstructured time". Not that I need structure to blog, but I've literally been doing my necessities and then enjoying free time with my family. It has been so enjoyable! I'm a fast paced person, relaxing does not always come natural to me and I've come to realize my version of relaxing is not necessarily the normal version. I don't need to be sitting still. I don't always need a cocktail to relax. I don't need a slow pace, a good book, or even to be off my feet. For me because my life pulls me in so many different directions just focusing on ONE thing at a time is relaxing to me. For instance... being in the gym and focusing on NOTHING but that is relaxing in its own way to me. Being at a children's museum with my three kids - while I definitely wouldn't describe the hub bub of three kids pulling me in different directions for different things "relaxing" per say my focus is 100% THEM and so at that moment I am "at ease" of sorts, and in MY element.

Some women are not meant to be tamed. What does that mean? To me that means, not everyone will understand why I choose to live my life the way I do - Why I choose to wake up at 5:00 am to meet my girlfriend at the gym, or why I fully enjoy planning my children's birthday parties down to the personalized picnic utensils - while this seems stressful to some, it cathartic to me. Or how I switch from mommy role to partying role at the drop of  a hat. Or how I can be so strict with my rules and values of raising my children, but so lenient and open minded in my moral compass of judging others. Or why I add things onto my plate when I don't NEED TO, but because I simply want to. I cant say it enough -  I like busy, but what I like more is as I have grown I am now finding my balance of focusing on the task at hand so rewarding and fulfilling. The "task" being working on my business/training, working on my body, personal challenges, working on my quality time with my kids/husband, working on my house, working on my education, working on my reading for pleasure even... whatever it is I see it ALL as tasks to be completed. I know that may sound robotic or almost like it takes the fun out of life, but for me it makes it more inspiring, focused, and passionate. It's what keeps me challenged.

My weekend was everything I love wrapped up in a little package I like to call "my bubble" ;)

Friday - day trip to Boston spent the entire day in Boston at the Children's Museum with my loves, exploring, playing, and lunch outside on the water - couldn't have asked for a better day! Friday evening was an adult night of fun by the water in Newburyport with some cocktails and friends. Saturday morning started early with my husband up and out for golfing and myself meeting a client to work on a marketing plan and starting a website for her, very motivating, inspiring, fun meeting! Family/Pool Day Saturday and finished off with food shopping, cleaning, laundry and getting ready for meal planning for the week. But of course what really topped it off was a glass of wine, relaxing by the fire, and then snuggling up to read a great book. Sunday morning started off with getting outside with a great friend for an early morning bike ride, a healthy snack, tea and enjoying good company, health, and sun. Another wonderful family day and an ice cream treat with the fam to finish off a wonderful Sunday. But of course my Sunday was not complete until I went through all client check ins, went through fitness emails, and updated all those new clients for next month - a solid 2 hours of working and then blogging. It feels so good to know that I had a great weekend, got in some healthy/fit time, "relaxed', got in some quality time with family, quality time with friends, checked off some work lists and can ROLL it all in!!! This has always been my goal in life. Fitness, Fun, Family, and now I've just added business and career to that mix. A whole new phase of life. Exciting, invigorating, and makes me grateful for a husband and family who is so supportive they have just let me evolve from my crazy, selfish, spastic self into exactly what I needed to be. Untamed and loving but inspired and productive!

 

Every day is a "Goddess Gathering" @@

Ok, this may come off as a rant, and its not intended as so. Well kinda, but less harsh than a rant per say. I'll try my best to keep my "tone" in check. Now this was actually sent to me particularly by another fitness mommy friend. We were just simply discussing it and then she kinda blew up when she found out these women where going to be on GOOD MORNING AMERICA and sent me a message saying YOUUUUUUU should be on good morning America with your message! You should write to them? etc. And she responded on the article. I chose to blog instead because that is what my blog is for - my personal vent, my opinions, etc. And clearly that is what everyone's own blog is for as well... so I will start by saying this is from someone's own blog, they are entitled to their own opinions as well and the message they are sending.

This is the original post: "Goddess Gatherings" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ct-working-moms/post-baby-body_b_1620181.html?show_comment_id=163868816#comment_163868816

Now let me start by explaining my fitness friend Michelle who was rubbed wrong by this. You're probably thinking she must be a bleach blond, super tan, big boobed competitor who was offended right? Because she maybe popped out one kid and looks super model gorgeous after. haha even if this would true her argument would still be valid but it couldn't be further from the truth. In fact I would say you will probably have a hard time finding a more ALL natural, involved. fit momma than her. All natural, vegetarian, non vaccinating, homeschooling, green smoothie drinking from a mason jar, attachment parenting, furniture restoring, on demand breastfeeding, co sleeping, animal rescuing, birthed her babies at home, FIT MOMMA!! And if you followed my blog you will see these may be a little more extreme for my personal taste with my family but I say IF IT WORKS for you, and your family is HEALTHY and HAPPY more power to you. I have utmost respect for people who do their own research, educate themselves and find their OWN way, even if its not MY WAY. But I point out the type of women Michelle is because up her in New England we may call this (and Michelle I know you wont take offense to this) but "crunchy granola" and with this "type" of style the image is very much "embrace your body", love the skin your in, and being connected to your spiritual well being and loving yourself from the inside out. So how does that mantra go with the fact that Michelle has a flat stomach WITH abs, tone arms, and loves to lunge to lift her booty? Especially after having 3 babies and spending so much time focusing on her all natural upbringing of her children. If you're wondering what her stomach looks like and I know you are... here it is, and she has diastasis recti which many get tummy tucks for but she just eats clean consistently and works out intensely (who woulda thunk)...

Well because LOVING the skin you're in does not have to mean SETTLING to some fate that once you have children you are stretched and worn and doomed to look like your only job on this planet was to procreate. You can love your body, and love your family and still STRIVE to achieve a better body. That doesn't make you vain or selfish, that in itself can be empowering! I believe self esteem has to be taught for some, sometimes from experiences good and bad. But like anything else in life it takes working at it. I truly believe fitness is a good starting point because it is saying to yourself "I am worth my own time." "I am worth taking care of first." And it makes you ask yourself what do I want out of my body? If its to be strong, lean, have babies, run, athletic, whatever it is... When making a vow to be fit you are telling yourself I AM WORTH ALL OF THAT. 

I AM WORTH WHATEVER I WANT TO BE. 

It doesn't happen overnight. But the message of just saying: These are our bodies after babies. No matter what we do they have changed so lets run for the ice cream. The only people who can look great after babies are celebrities because they have the $$ to do so... is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MESSAGE TO SEND. 


This is sad to me, not empowering at all. The idea of the gathering itself is not a bad idea per say... women coming together and rejoicing in what their bodies can do and celebrating them, good for them, not my cup of kumbaya tea but more power to them if that's their thing. I actually made my passion of teaching women how to strive to be better in all aspects of their life starting with fitness, a career : 
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=420237494687745&set=a.228373523874144.65510.228354487209381&type=3&theater  

And for the last two years have been getting about 10 women together twice a week... and we "confidence build" through teaching them how to workout properly, eat properly, and learn their own worth! And the side effect is that they look better, feel better, and are healthier!! Maybe we should start calling them Goddess Parties! Oooops watching the tone ;) They don't need to run to wine and ice cream (well soemtimes but thats for a cheat NOT solace) and they do not need to justify their excuses by wallowing in the "woe is me I'm not a celebrity with a boat load of money so I can't do or have what I want." I wouldn't allow such wallowing at my boot camp ;)  That's more my cup of tea, but to each their own. I have clients who are teachers, nurses, stay home moms, biotechnologists, work two and three jobs, are celebrating 25th wedding anniversaries, in their 50s... REGULAR people. CHOOSING to challenge themselves to get fit!
One of my clients wrote the other day and it so touched me: "Steph, You're like my daily inspiration! I sign on to see what amazing advice you'll give today - I didn't know I was getting so much with my bootcamp enrollment! THANKS!"


The thing that really bothers us fit mommas with this message is the negative undertone of inadequacy in comparison to celebrities, that is appalling and sad. It sounds like a bunch of little girls sitting around reading magazines and WISHING they looked like the girls in them. I am sorry but we are grown adults, we know what photo shop is, we know they have lots of money at their dispense, so this is NOT NEWS. US wanting to look like them is our own insecurities, its not their problem. Sitting around WISHING they had celebrities lives, money, or bodies. When a full grown adult says "I WISH" in a serious statement it makes my skin crawl... you have the power to DO, not WISH.

Have they ever taken a step back and though that they have worked hard to get where they are? That they have made sacrifices and overcome obstacles to get to their level? Have you ever thought that will all the money in the world it still takes will power, drive, and determination to look the way that they do after children. Have you ever thought that they worked for it? Have you ever thought to build STRENGTH from that instead of pity or jealousy? Why do women especially (although its prominent among falsely over confident men as well - newsflash guys true people can see through it and it just looks sad) feel a need to knock something else in order to raise themselves up. I have always had some favorite celebrity role models, they of course have all been fit celebrities, but celebrities I think have balance as mothers in their lives. Celebrities I feel are comfortable in their own skin, natural, real. Kelly Ripa, Faith Hill, Elizabeth HasselBack and even now new Momma Pink - her recent breastfeeding pic and views on attachment parenting really hit me: http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/06202012-pinks-breastfeeding-pic-is-simply-stunning/... and moved me to feel "Some women have such a subtle confidence that it moves you. Supporting what you love instead of knocking what you don't takes class and wit that only few possess ♥" So in going with that message I am trying not to knock the blog entirely. I think the INTENT was good, but I also STRONGLY believe there is a MORE EMPOWERING stronger fit message out there to be given to Moms. 

It is: YOUR BODIES BELONG TO YOU. Your choices belong to you. Your family belongs to you. AND YOU DETERMINE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE - on the outside and on the inside. Of all the rights of women I do believe being a mother is the greatest. I love and am SO thankful for my husband of almost13 years! And my children are the greatest gifts EVER given to me, I have been a mother my entire adult life, its all I know its who I am. But loving yourself independent from Mom and Wife allows you to love them more!! True confidence and knowing your worth will radiate into your love for others! I see many mothers living a life of resentment instead of gratitude, and a lot of that stems from having lost themselves in the process, having listened to messages like these that are back sided - on the one hand it says yes embrace your new life/body but on the other hand it says Moms are doomed to post baby bodies and it is what it is. Everyone is allowed to live how they choose but lets not let someone tell us it is ok to use excuses like (since I'm not a celebrity I can't look like that) to justify our choices. I've been through chubby phases too and I own those as when I needed off time, it's all a choice. But I will represent my breastfeeding, stretch marked, no budget for personal chefs, body as many other fit mommas I know and be proud of what we work for even with three kids and real lives. 

And I want to close with this... I have friends who are fit, beautiful and all. I also have friends who are not so fit, and not so beautiful. I have friends who are stay at home Moms, and I have friends who are full time working Moms. I have friends who are co sleepers and other totally against it. I'm friends with breast feeding mommas and formula mommas. I have friends who cook homemade Italian every night of week, and others who are all natural, all vegetarian. I have friends that own big beautiful houses and others that rent apartments. I do not judge people based on these choices or circumstances in their lives. I actually enjoy variety in people and learning things about them. When did motherhood/womanhood become such a great big pissing match in general? But that is an entirely different blog for a different day. I judge people based on if they are happy, positive, and really if they can make me laugh. I don't have strict criteria. Oh and if you have any connections that helps. I kid I kid.


Some references of pics and THE REAL ME :) This pic was taken by a photographer in Gloucestor Ma - At the time I had A 7 year old princess, and 11 month old twins who were delivered by c-section after a pregnancy of bed rest. 

I was not in "competition shape" as in fact that is too lean and too little body fat for most photographer's ideal bikini pic's liking. I SPECIFICALLY (get this) asked the photographer to send me a CD of images WITHOUT airbrushing because at the time I was sending out these pics for other promotional jobs and it is recommended you send out the REAL you. I wanted companies to know I am a Mom, I have stretch marks THIS is what you are working with. You can CLEARLY see my stretch marks in this pic. But the point is I FELT great! I didnt need wine to loosen me up because I truly felt great! I didn't need to run to junk food for emotional support because I willl never have perfect skin again. I agree with the message of accepting that the beautiful gift of motherhood may change your body, but I do not agree that essentially just "letting yourself go" is the motherly thing to do. Sorry I will NEVER subscribe to that. I plan to be in the best shape of my life before I try to yet again GROW my family if that happens for us, and I plan to have a fitness goal afterwards as well. 

This is me now: 5 years later, this was taken Sunday 6/24/12 just hanging out by the pool with my beautiful family. I have not stepped on stage since 2008. Running my business, back in college, raising my three beauties with my husband, taking care of our house, and continuing to grow as a person as a mother and striving to STAY FIT. If you think it must "come easy" for me think again... I need to dedicate a whole blog to my "chubby phase" but I kinda touch base on it here: http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-do-you-eat-how-do-i-eat-when-and.html


This was my mother's day blog some years ago and you will see not much has changed ;) : http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/2010/05/happy-mothers-day.html

And for reference MY VIEWS remain through and through THIS IS ONE THING I REALLY LOVE ABOUT BLOGGING!!! Being able to look back and see my passion jumping off a page...
"My retaliation is because I am so sick as a woman of seeing the WARS between woman...Working vs Stay home, Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding, Co sleepers, vs Crib sleepers, Young Vs. Old. And the infamous Fat vs Thin. ENOUGH ALREADY. I have carried 3 children within my body, slept with them on my chest, nursed them, kissed tiny toes & wiped away tears. I have been puked on, peed on & spent sleepless nights cradling them. My body isn't magazine perfect (hate to break it to you magazines aren't real), but when I look in the mirror I do not see JUST A MOM, I see a beautiful women. I see strength, I see determination, I see laugh lines, I see stretch marks, I see the body of someone I can be PROUD OF. So lets stop copping out to "we are fat because we are cultured". We are a fat nation because we eat poorly, and do not exercise. We have a 34% obesity rate because we don't take care of ourselves. Embrace your curves as long as you know they are HEALTHY curves!" :http://fitmomma3.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=30

Still too Blessed to EVER be stressed!

WOW I have not blogged since October of 2011. Can you say SLACKER?! Wellll honestly far from slacking just prioritizing in order of necessities. With school, my business, our house, our family, and all our kids extra curriculars... blogging fell to the far wayside. I made a mental note that during the summer months I would try to pick it back up more consistenly, as this is my first summer in two years that I am not taking any classes and I couldnt be more excited about the extra free time!! I'm actually reading for fun again something I gave up for school work, and my body is on a normal schedule, it feels great! Without late night 2am homework sessions I know what it feels like to wake up rested and I have even been incorporating morning cardio again because it helps me start my day on a great note and keeps me up and slightly more focused during the summer months when I have less of a schedule and can easily become a little lazy. I have been using my BUSINESS facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Body-Definition-Define-who-You-want-to-be/228354487209381
to share information/recipes/motivation, but my blog is more personal. Here it sometimes feels like a journal and I can ramble and ramble on just because, which I sometimes need. This post is to adress and slightly make fun of my crazy life. Not much has changed even though I havnt blogged in 8 months. My goals are still going strong and I am proud to say I am contueing to work hard to acheive them, all of them. My business has been consistenly growing and has been more empowering and satisfying than I ever could have imagined it could be. I am always and will always be a MOM first, a career is something I chose to put on a back burner to let my children take center stage and follow their lead of needs. My small business has allowed me to have my cake and eat it too. I have great clients who motivate me and I them. I am staying involved and focused in the industry and yet have the freedom, flexibility, and enjoyment of working for myself. I can officially say I have turned my passion for fitness, healthy living, and a POSITIVE lifestyle, into a way to make money and practice what I preach. For me my business is not so much "what I do" as it is "who I am". I am able to share my knowledge, experiences, motivation, hardships, and find strength through sharing and touch others, to me there is no greater gift. I posted this on the business facebook page but I mean it from the bottom of my heart:

  

"You know I never really talk $$ or the business aspect of my training business much, because my passion for this and genuine love of my clients is my drive. Anyone who meets can pretty much tell $ is the last thing that motivates my choices with my clients. But this IS my business and it has grown considerably over the last two years and I sincerely want to thank each and everyone of my clients who have spread positive word of mouth and sent referrals. I don't advertise because I want positive people coming who know someone who had a good experience and results, not someone just coming for a quick fix. Without you guys I wouldn't be able to do what I do, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! I honestly couldn't possibly love what I do more, and YOU all are helping my business to grow!" My school focus has been strong as well! Making Deans list the entire school year, officially being accepted into the Radiology program (which is very competitive and always full), completing my clinical observation and in Fall of 2012 I am starting my clinical portion in the hospital of the program. For someone who has always had a hard time seeing things through ( mostly because I was more interested in having babies), there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am proud to be seeing it! The fact of the matter is focusing on our future is so empowering. Starting a family at a young age my focus was always immediate, I had to focus on what I needed now to get through and that was it. As I round out my 20s and into my 30s I am finally hitting a point in my life where I am focusing on the future and not just the now. RIGHT now things are GREAT, I couldnt ask for more. I love my business, my husband, our kids, our house, our life, but I am looking at the future and just solidifying making it even beter. People ask me all the time why are you in school if your business is doing good, do you want to switch careers? And the awnser is no - I want to ADD to my options, I want to ADD to my knowledge, I want to ensure security and prosperity. Sometimes it's hard because we want to do things NOW instead of wait, we talk about vacationing more as we did, expanding our family etc but we've been blessed and I'm getting better on working on patience... I've seen our hard work pay off... I can continue to wait for MORE.

Sometimes I think I need this sticky...

 

And then the next question is HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL?! This question is my favorite and for a long time I didnt have a great awnser. And I feel like I finally do. I do it because I can! I may not always be able to so I take advantage of and seize EVERY MINUTE. I am blessed with a supportive family, they may not be here forever so I utilize that support. I am blessed with a great living arrangement - buyng our parents house and having them next door keeps me close to my family and is affordable for us and a great investment to explore extra things like school - so I figure do it now while I can. I am blessed with ENERGY - I am young, I have it now I may not have it like this forever so I USE every ounce that I can. I am blessed with drive and passion - I USE IT NOW! I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and all of this could go away just like that so I use it NOW. But let me make one thing very clear about my life... I am blessed beyond belief, BUT it is NOT PERFECT. I joke and kid about being Super Mom because its empowering when I accomplish so much. But when people tell you they can HAVE IT ALL, they lie. There are sacrifices that have to be made ALWAYS. So I will share some of my crazy life with you :) It's funny to me and makes me smile, sometimes I really feel overwhelmed and thats when I take a breather spend two days organizing and cleaning and maybe a few glasses of wine later I'm back on track. Sometimes I am 10 loads of laundry deep, sometimes my stack of mail that needs to be gone through is enough to fill at least 2 shoe boxes, I've lost books in my house, I've lost calendars/clothes, I've forgotten scheduled appointments, I brought my daughter to daunce auditions on the wrong day, one day two weeks ago I overbooked myself so badly then lost my keys and was consistently 10 minutes late to each and evry appointment that morning (this is a HUGE no no and pet peeve of mine.) I also and I have NEVER done this before sent out nutrition plans to 8 out of the 9 bootcampers and forgot one person, thank goodness she's a great understanding client. I have a to do list two pages long and constantly feel like I'm behind on it... I have my days just like evryone else. But at the end of the day I know I CAN DO THIS! This is like my Mommy chaos confessions, things that make me literally question - maybe I can't do this? Maybe I bit off more than I can chew? And that my friends is the voice of doubt - and you know what someone who is strong and confident and wants to DEFINE who they want to be does to that voice of doubt? They laugh at it! Mock it! And know you are stonger than that. You tell yourself "I will learn from this." I will set up my days accordingly for this NOT to happen again. I will plan better. I will get a new calendar. I will do WHATEVER it takes to acheive what I need to because why?
BECAUSE I CAN!

  

So during the school year... my responsibilities include but are not limited to:
1. My college work load

2.Mommy taxing - all three kids to and from school, extracurriculars, dance, sports, cheerleading, competitions, playdates, library, doctors/dentists, and make no mistake I do not just talk the talk I am a VERY hands on mother its actually what I consider I do best in life :)

3.Running my training buiness - boot camp, in home clients, online clients, emails, anwserinf iftness questions, seminars, etc.

4.I also bartend events part time but I consider this fun work for fun extra $$

5.cleaning, organizing,upkeep and decorating our house and yard

6. Actually scheduling down time and hubby time and family time... this is one thing thats very important as much as I'm on the go I make a point for this. I may run for 6 weeks straight - but then we'll go away for a nice long weekend to make up for it.

7. AND of cousre - WORKING ON MY OWN FITNESS!

 Now during the summer this year our schedules breathes a bit - no part time events bartending, no tons of extracurriculars, no college work load for me, and no school for the kiddos, so we SOAK IT UP! 

We still have a lot going on but we def ENJOY again WHILE WE CAN! Even so let me give you a Thursday/Friday rundown from this week and its a prelude to my funny pic confession of the day - sometimes my car looks like a homeless person lives in it - you will see... So Thursday up at 5:30 am - cleaned the house, switched the laundry, starting making lunch for friends coming over later - made 10 healthy wraps, 13 peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, and a salad. Got the kids in their swimsuits and lathered up in suncreen, went outside to clean the pool and realize our robot cleaner was broken - thank goodness for my Dad, he brought it up to the pool place only to find out we needed a new one, brought the new one home. $$ -  its always something - but that is another blog. Filled up the kiddie pool, watered the garden, mowed the front lawn, watered the front garden, set up the drinks in the cooler, got the pool, floats, and deck area set up and helped my Dad set up the new robot and get that in the pool. Showered and ready for friends to come over @11:30 - great afternoon with friends by the pool till about 4:30pm. Cleaned up the pool area and deck, sprayed it down, put away the floats, covered the pool etc. In the house for dinner and a little awnsering work emails before teaching boot camp at 7:00pm taught 7-8 at 8:30 back to my house to meet a new client! hour consult till 9:30 and started new client. Washed my face, brushed my teeth and FELL INTO BED. - This is what I consider a GREAT Day!! And I was gearing up for Friday am - a client at 7:30, 8:30, and 9:30 before coming home to clean, organize, start my to do list which I am 11 items checked off deep, run some errands, pick up a dwarf hamster and get home to pick up my house again for company coming over for dinner and pool time at 6pm - again totally what I considered another GREAT DAY but just gives you an idea of the busy! Sometimes it gets overwhelming but I cant express enough I CHOOSE to do all of this - WHY? Because I can! Because I love my life like this... because at the end of the day I never feel like I've wasted anything. Yes I have relxing down chill days - I think everyone needs them and sometimes I have to force them, but for the most part I consider enjoying life by LIVING LIFE! And this is my story, I like the way I write however spastic it may be :) And this is why Friday morning when I got into my car I had to snap this pic. After meeting with my client at 7:30 who once again said "I dont know how you do it all" my reply was simply "I'm crazy" (which is partially very true) and then Friday afternoon when I looked at my to do list, tackled my guest bedroom that has been taken over by laundry a light bulb went off - I'm ready to blog about this :) In this pic in my car... 

 

*a cup that had a protein shake in it
*stuffed a banana peel in
*a chobanni yogurt spoon
*empty zone bar wrapper
*2 empty ispoure bottles
*empty water bottles
*cashews
*sunscreen
*versa grips
*deodarant
*VS lovespell lotion
*and for good measure Jay's Gee's coupons

And I will say I have 9 things checked off that to do list :) see it just GETS DONE!